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Bob May 2017

Monday 10th April 2017

 

That last story is particularly sad, sad mostly for Jimmy of course but sad for many others who knew him as it seems he suffered a lot; I never knew him but would like to have done.

 

There's been a lot of suffering going on around the globe since I last blogged including the tragic story above so you begin to wonder if it will ever end, to answer no is a bit depressing and to answer yes is a touch optimistic so all you can do is hope that it won't get any worse and hope that there will be a few 'sparkly moments ‘, what is a sparkly moment?

 

It is when you achieve your goal, don't get hit by an asteroid or sucked in to a sinkhole.  Now there's not much chance of number 2 or 3 happening so achieving your goal is the only way forward, right Sam?  My goal today is to keep breathing so my 'sparkly moments ' are averaging 6 per minute - which is enough sparkle for anybody.  

 

Also for me a sparkly moment is when I'm blogging even though only 5 people read my blog last week and 4 of them was me so with that in mind I am going up a notch in the world and blog in 16 point instead of 14 point that way I can save energy by not having to keep putting my glasses on.

 

Talking of energy jobs today included finishing the fence, starting a very complex shelf project (details of which you will be spared) and erecting a swing in a lovely garden for lovely grandmother for her lovely granddaughter.  I won’t mention fitting a Gloster Javelin tail to my cockerel weather vane as nobody would believe me.  

Saturday 15th April 2017

 

If you don’t know what a Gloster Javelin is then I feel sorry for you, back in the 50’s and 60’s in my view it was the ultimate in design, innovation, power and aesthetics, you have only to Google it to see what I mean.   I made plenty of balsa wood models of the Javelin most of which ended up in bits or balls of flame but the catastrophic failures were not due to the model or my modelling skills it was down to my ham-fisted mates who assisted me in the launch phase. Anyway my cockerel up on the weather vane now thinks he is one, a Javelin that is and not one of my ham-fisted mates.

 

Reminiscing again, sorry about that, but it’s better than grappling with the arse twisting language you have to deal with when changing anti-virus providers on this old PC, what a farce.  I’m a great ‘techy’ when dealing with fences or shelves but the mind bending contortions required for this digital can of worms leaves me cold.  Think I’ll get the old slide rule out; the Javelin was designed with the slide rule – not a kilobit or megabit in site - happy days!

 

Apart from that a Happy Easter to my reader – yes you and may all your eggs be in many baskets.  

 

Tuesday 18th April 2017

 

There's a lot of talk recently about getting old farts who shouldn't be driving off the road, couldn't agree more,  nearly got written off by one yesterday.  Old fart couldn't see over the steering wheel, no idea which side of the road she was on, forgotten where the brake pedal was, careering down a twisty country lane, heading towards another old fart coming the other way, serious accident only avoided by lightening reaction by one of the old farts.  I was one of the old farts. Guess which one?

 

There is a serious issue here which should mean that all old farts who wish to drive should have a weekly mandatory check on driving skills, eye sight and reactions.  That could be done easily by playing a simple game against an 11 year old on your iPad/iphone/keypad and if you lose you are banned from driving, my 11 year old twin granddaughters would ensure that would be no more old farts on the road.  And if anyone from the DVLC is reading this blog and uses my idea I want £1.05 for every old fart banned from driving.  That's a Guinea in old money.

 

Saturday 22nd April 2017

 

Never heard such a long running April Fool story in all my life. Some dozy Dutch engineer has proposed an airport design with circular runways and would you believe, not only that it seems that he has received EU funding for a study.  What a plonker.   Doesn't he know that all aircraft have to take off and land into the wind and wind doesn't blow in convenient circles? Whatever next?  A chair-o-plane for aeroplanes?

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He thinks he's a Javelin with his new tail!

Spot the aeroplane.

Tuesday 25th April 2017

 

There's only one thing more inspiring than watching the London Marathon and that's taking part. I was so inspired I dialled up bbc/getinspired and tried to find a local event to get inspired by, but I couldn't find one - phew.  Respect to all those taking part.

 

Instead I got inspired by taking another trip around the M25 and collecting another couple of Dart Charges. Never fails to amaze me how the hell those cameras pick up around 140,000 number plates a day and send out fines to those who don't pay.  I bet that the answer is they don't, but who is brave enough to check it out?  I spotted plenty of unreadable number plates so maybe a drive through a muddy field before driving over/through the Dart Crossing is the answer but then it'll cost you more than that to get your car cleaned, that is if you don't get stuck in the mud.  Better to pay up Sam and enjoy the view don't you think?

 

Sorry I can’t be more inspiring today but inspiring (but satisfying) trips to the dump is hardly worth blogging about.  

 

Saturday 29th April 2017

 

Evidence, if any were needed, of rip-off’s going on in the kitchen appliance insurance world. Yesterday I called my fridge freezer insurance company to complain about the 20% increase in premiums, following a short chat with Annabelle instead of 20% increase I was offered a 50% decrease thank you very much. So what does that tell you about being a long term loyal uncomplaining customer?   Answer, you get ripped off.  I’m sure that is also the case for many other long term contracts – I’m going to have a go at my Broadband/TV/Phone provider next – but I will be polite.

 

Yes I know it’s trivia in the grand scheme of things but news here in the UK at the moment is once again dominated by ego maniacs trotting out their ‘messages’ for a ‘better future’ – who’d be a politician?  Two years ago we had a General Election which I thought was conclusive, last year we had a referendum which wasn’t necessary or conclusive and now we have another couple of trips to the polling station to make (local and national) which will result in a ‘better future’, so that’s great.  I think.  I shall vote for The Democratic Capitalist Party but there aren’t any candidates, nobody knows what they stand for and nobody’s heard of it but that goes for this blog as well!  Have a nice Bank Holiday.

 

Tuesday 2nd May 2017

 

I make no apology for banging on (again) about West Wittering Beach and in particular a morning stroll in brilliant sunshine around East Head.  This is for all you guys out there domiciled around the globe and dreaming about the old country (and for me when I can’t drive, see, hear, walk, talk, write and wonder).  The drive was a dream in the old Corsa and just for the record she now has new tyres and a gear shift that doesn’t get stuck in park.  I digress.

 

The tide was somewhere over the horizon exposing a vast flat landscape of shimmering sand peppered with crystallised salt (no vinegar!) reflecting an endless carpet of pin pricks of light, or perhaps it was the sun reflecting on the sand facets.  Multi-coloured tufts of seaweed clinging to pebbles strewn about the place, deceased crabs deposited at the high water mark and overhead a stationary line of slowly rotating cumulus.   Mesmerising.  A slightly cool breeze from the south filled the sails of passing yachts silently threading their way up and down the channels marked out by the port (red) and starboard (green) buoys (cans). They’re still there Mac. Ready about, Lee Ho!

 

The visibility seemed endless as Chichester Bar Beacon standing proud on its stilts and The Nab Tower on the horizon beckoning all those (I used to be one) intrepid yachties to faraway places.  Get the picture? And if you don’t this is the best I could do.    

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Wednesday 3rd May 2017

 

By the way a cream tea was enjoyed lounging in The Landing Café in West Wittering village which is recommended.

 

And if it’s your birthday today then a very sparkly birthday to you especially if you were born 47 years ago around lunch time i.e. between Sunday roast and pudding – I’m still waiting for my pudding!  

 

Monday 8th May 2017

 

Yesterday, I know it’s getting a bit tiresome now, but another trip to Romford around the M25 including an exhilarating glide back over the QE2 Bridge was completed without incident.  It could have been better if the bloody cool breeze from the east wasn’t a cool breeze from the east but a balmy breeze from the south.  For weeks now hardly a drop of rain has fallen and temperatures have been on the cool side despite the sun now being high in the sky.  If you look back at this blog about a year ago I was complaining about the winds from Europe just before we voted Brexit, yesterday France voted in a virtually unknown President so does that mean that the winds will affect our up-coming election?  Maybe my Democratic Capitalist Party will have a chance if I can get together a manifesto by tomorrow, what do you think Sam?

 

Recently I discovered a cosy Book Shop called Persephone Books, it’s a small book publisher and re-publisher of books by a variety of mostly female authors and is located in Lambs Conduit Street- well worth a browse.  Click HERE if you wish to know more but be aware that Persephone is pronounced Persephanie and not Percyphone, you probably knew but if you are an oik from Oxshott you probably wouldn’t know.

 

You might have detected a slight bounce in my step this morning, there are reasons for it but you won’t find out until a couple of weeks’ time, all I can say at this moment is that this bloody ancient laptop has suddenly, for some reason, burst into life sssshhh!  Maybe it's the wind.

 

Wednesday 10th May 2017

 

Just for the record the ‘contact’ email has changed to robertcjones@live.co.uk

 

Not that I expect any ‘contact’ but expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed - somebody said.

 

Saturday 13th May 2017

 

Nothing to say today except that It’s raining, at last, and computers around the world have been hacked and there is nothing we can do to stop it happening again and again, except don’t use computers?  Back to the drawing board!

I spent 40 years standing at a drawing board,sharpening pencils, drawing straight lines, curves and circles and  rubbing out but mostly dreaming.

 

Monday 22nd May 2017

 

Last week the oldest Hippy took a picture of the youngest Hippy on the ferry boat from Santa Eulalia to Ibiza Town, the only problem was that somebody had to go and spoil it by playing Viva Espana on his accordion.  Other than that another trip to Ibiza was completed without incident except (there is always an except) that the cleaners at Ibiza airport were on strike leaving mountains of plastic bottles, coffee cups, nappies, etc. etc. strewn about the place – not a pretty site.  Pictures might follow although pictures are nearly always a disappointment don’t you think, better left to the imagination, except maybe a picture of a sensuous door handle I fitted to the gate as the old one had snapped off, well it’s what keeps the oldest Hippy happy Sam.

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Tuesday 23rd May 2017

 

One hundred and eleven years ago today (1906) in a sleepy town called Sleaford in Lincolnshire Mabel Conway was born, she was the third of eight children born to William and Agnes Conway.  Here she is at the age of 12 with her two younger sisters Rene and Ruby.  Why is this of interest?  Because she was my mother – see the likeness?  

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Thursday 25th May 2017

 

OK you can’t see the likeness but many people can and dissolve into hysterics when they see the picture so I thought I might spread a little sunshine.  Talking of sunshine here in Cobham its sun, sun hat, shorts and sandals weather at the moment but also sadness as you can’t ignore the headlines which once again are of many innocent young lives taken for no reason.  I’d not heard of Ariana Grande but her comment of ‘no words’ seem to be appropriate.  Us old farts who have children, grandchildren, health, lived our lives and still have a roof over our heads have much to be thankful for.  Tomorrow we are promised a return to political jousting - again, who’d be a politician?  Respect.

 

Meanwhile Bob’s Blog has reached the end of page 13 so let’s hope that page 14 will reflect a little more luck, good news, peace and prosperity for all, including planet Earth.  

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Optimistic

Not so optimistic

Image of Gloster Javelin temporarily removed.

 

Might be copyright!

 

You can see it HERE if you really want to.

Image temporarily removed.

 

Might be copyright!

 

It's only a chairoplane.

 

 

Image temporarily removed.

 

Might be copyright!

 

It's only a picture of a boring old drawing office.

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