You are reading Page 42 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 84 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!
Friday 1st December 2023.
This is my attempt at drawing a cold nude in Cobham Cemetery. She can be seen in the Sir Robert McAlpine's Mausoleum not far from my great grandparents Annie and John. Conducted tours on request. Includes a Babycham in the Running Mare!
Saturday 2nd December 2023.
I did attend art class a couple of years ago but I didn't learn anything. I did manage to draw this young lady who was dreaming about the future, I dream about the past!
Sunday 3rd December 2023.
I can't remember what I was dreaming about when I drew this.
Monday 4th December 2023.
I do remember what I was dreaming about when I drew this.
I wonder what she was dreaming about?
Tuesday 5th December 2023.
Still dreaming about Pagham!
Wednesday 6th December 2023.
Don't forget to keep 'earthed' if you have any ailments. And I mean any ailments. Full details on Page 37.
Thursday 7th December 2023.
Either that or a Guinness a day!
Monday 18th December 2023.
Annie's story is now available HERE.
Tuesday 19th December 2023.
Remembering Greg today who passed away last Sunday. Love and condolences to all the family. Adiós Todo Mio.
Thursday 21st December 2023.
Winter Solstice should make you feel a whole lot better.
Friday 22nd December 2923 sorry 2023.
Did you know that today we get an extra 27 seconds of daylight in the morning and an extra 33 seconds of daylight in the evening which is exactly one minute of extra daylight today compared with yesterday? I'm feeling better already.
Did you know that 'Horizontal Gravity' does exist but it hasn't been discovered yet?
Monday 25th December 2023.
This site had one visitor yesterday and one visitor today so a a very happy Christmas to both my readers - that's me and you!
Saturday 30th December 2023.
Not much to say today except that a nasty bug has put paid to all my plans for Christmas and the New Year - but enjoy yours - that is if you're not travelling via Eurostar. Apparently all journeys have been cancelled due to a Pipe Support failure which carries the fire water in the tunnel under the Thames, it wasn't me - honest.
Monday 1st January 2024.
Looking at the concerns and worries on the faces of the children, students and Professors at The Royal Society Christmas Lectures regarding the gloom and doom surrounding the development of AI (Artificial Intelligence) or 'a virtual world' I would say forget about it. It's not real or natural, unlike you, me, plants, animals, birds, the sky, the soil, silence, snow, dreams, the Sun, the Moon, the stars, the cosmos, time or space.
So, a Happy Walk to Work and a very Happy New Year to you - but keep an eye on your bank account!
Wednesday 3rd January 2024.
Will this be the year of HORIZONTAL GRAVITY? Probably not because the academic community and others are too tied up with AI and ignoring the most practical and obvious. Having said that I will admit that it is a bit difficult to understand, unless of course you are a Fisherman's Friend. My sketch may look a touch amateurish but it contains all the ingredients necessary for a sustainable future in renewable energy. Wot's not to like?
Sunday 7th January 2024.
Today, I'll let you into a secret (as if you didn't know already) I'm Eighty F, F Five years old and whichever way you cut it 2024 - 1939 = 85. I count my self lucky that I'm still able to blog and do lots of other things denied to many.
You would think that blogging on your 85th birthday is for the birds, but safe in the knowledge that nobody (except you) reads this blog I'll record for posterity (or when I get very old and wish to wander down memory lane) my recent riveting stories. Hardly best sellers but certainly on a par with 'My Life in Kenya' by Lionel Hardcastle.
Regular readers will know that over the years I have had many visits to the surgeon to remove bits and pieces from my head, hands and arms caused by sun damage when lazing around on the beaches of the Mediterranean, Gilmais Swimming Pool (Bookham) and Pagham in the early 60's without any sun protection, except maybe a dribble of Ambre Solaire or Copper Tan thinking I might turn into a bronze Charles Atlas. Anyway, due to recent developments and further concerns I was subjected to an Ultrasound Scan with biopsy, CT scan and MRI scan. My consultant has offered me a Parotidectomy and half a helical rim removal which in layman's terms means a face lift and chop a piece out of your ear.
My first question, of course, 'is it worth doing on an 85 year old?' He informed me that they only offer the procedure to 85 year old spring chickens and because I can still scratch, sqwark and run faster than a speeding bullet I was considered to be a spring chicken. Apparently, the chances of surviving this intervention I understood is a touch better than winning the National Lottery so no contest. Otherwise it's blogging from the grave which could be another first, just like Horizontal Gravity. Anyway, all that will be played out in the next few weeks and might increase readership - might. Never, in the field of human endeavour has so much been missed for so long by so many.
By the way many, many thanks for all your lovely cards and birthday wishes. Just off for a jog to Oxshott (Men's) Club to pay my dues and dream.
Tuesday 9th January 2024.
I expect, dear reader that you, like me, are a very reasonable person most of the time but when you are denied sleep there is a good chance you, like me, will become a very unreasonable person especially if the reason you are denied sleep is because of a very unreasonable neighbour. A new neighbour, who shall be nameless, has decided to install four high intensity porch lights with a combined candle power of 10 million candles, not only that they are reflected into even greater intensity by a brilliant ultra white wall all directed into my bedroom. My black out curtains fail miserably to deal with the searing heat and light. All this would be absolutely no problem at all unless they are left on all night. Last night they were left on all night and the result is that the local light pollution is on a par with Heathrow, the local bat population don't know whether they are on their arse or their elbow, the Nocturnals are turning into Docturnals and I would guess the electricity bill is burning a hole in their door mat. I have in the recent past informed the neighbours of this highly un-neighbourly action (or inaction) but obviously has had no effect. I am waiting for a passing cruise liner mistaking the porch lights for The Longships Lighthouse.
Thursday 11th January 2024.
Sleeping without light and noise pollution is a rare thing these days. Those of us of advanced years can recall the time when the only pollution would have been the dyeing embers of a fire or a flickering candle in the hall and the steady, comforting tick of a large clock. Maybe the hoot of an owl and a Cockerel announcing the daylight but little else.
Friday 12th January 2024.
Sure enough readership yesterday increased by 650% (13 readers) which must mean that interest in Horizontal Gravity is on the up or maybe concern for my health is on the up, possibly both? I'm still capable of driving a Renault Twingo all the way to Pyrford and back so no worries Liza. Why did we go to Pyrford? To check on Teddy and Rose of course.
Saturday 13th January 2024.
And if you don't know who Teddy and Rose are you are not paying attention, they are Bonnie and Georgie's cousins of course. Teddy and Rose have just moved home and need a touch of TLC. My task today is to unlatch the bonnet of a Renault Twingo. In the old days you would simply pull a lever and Twingo, sorry bingo but now you need a YouTube video explaining the intricacies of the daunting task designed by top French engineers. What a palaver!
Monday 15th January 2024.
I can die happy now. The satisfaction of cracking open the bonnet (hood) on a Twingo is beyond words. Together with a YouTube video and 85 years of engineering expertise, knowhow, knowledge and dexterity the screen wash reservoir was topped up and tested successfully. The task of checking the oil dipstick will require a complete bonnetidectomy, full anaesthetic and a week in hospital so look forward to that.
Wednesday 17th January 2024.
A late night recorded message, accessed by your birth year, from the hospital reminding you of your appointment tomorrow in threatening and intimidating tones does nothing for the NHS communication department. Do NOT arrive before your appointment time, you MUST wear a face covering at all times and come ALONE, anybody with you will wait outside in the FREEZING COLD. Goodbye. Probably another idea from the Artificial intelligence department to improve their rating.
Zero stars for that one but five stars for THIS one.
Thursday 18th January 2024.
Last night it was the coldest night of the year. In my back yard it is minus 6 Centigrade as I write. Millions of boilers are working their socks off trying to heat millions of little boxes that leak heat like sieves. Not only that the country is in the middle of a high pressure zone which means there is very little wind to drive those hideous armies of wind turbines. And yet, the Moon continues to pump water round the planet regardless and buckets of energy are waiting to be harnessed.
A silly old fart who has been called a 'self labelled engineer' by a 'Professor' of Engineering has the answer to our energy problem which he calls Horizontal Gravity. But nobody listens.
Saturday 20th January 2024.
The highlight of the week was commuting to Tooting via Cherry's Taxi, train to Wimbledon and the 131 bus to St Georges in the rush hour. The lowlight was discovering that a Latté on Wimbledon station was £4, expletive deleted.
Hits this week from Oxshott, California, Nevada and Brisbane might mean that somebody is interested in Horizontal Gravity.
Either that or someone is checking to see if I'm still vertical.
Wednesday 24th January 2024.
For those of you who are absolutely fascinated by my family history research into my great grandparents John and Annie there is now an intriguing update which you will find HERE.
Thursday 25th January 2024.
Jobs to be done if I can't get off the operating table tomorrow.
1. Prune 50 year old Bramley planted by my father. Drastic surgery will be required Dan, check with Grandad.
2. A couple of buckets of sand to finish off John and Eliza's grave.
3. Get Sir Isaac Newton to check Horizontal Gravity - he missed something.
Monday 29th January 2024.
I did manage to climb off the operating table after three and a half hours so I'd better get on with the jobs. Respect to all at The Royal Surrey, Guildford for looking after a bunch of old and not so old farts who make noises all night.
Wednesday 31st January 2024.
FUNDING HAS BEEN GRANTED FOR WORLD WIDE DEPLOYMENT OF HORIZONTAL GRAVITY UNITS
This will mean that inexpensive electricity will be available to all for the foreseeable future.
Or is it a dream?
A moment in time and space.
You have read Page 42 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 85 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!