Bob with sunflower.
Both past their best.
Bob's Blog Page 1
You are reading the first page of
Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 76 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!
Monday May 4th 2015
Today marks around about 20 years since I registered this web domain and in that time the idea has not created a seismic wave or even a ripple in the pond of life. However, yesterday, my grand children noticed my new slim fit jeans from Uniqlo so it can't be all bad. I wasn't going to plant any vegetables this year as it's usually only the aphids, bugs and slugs that benefit but I've decided to take my chances with sun flowers and corn on the cob so with any luck I could end up with a yellow forest.
Tuesday May 5th 2015
And why is there a Spitfire on the front page of this website? Well as Max Hastings eloquently puts in his book about Winston Churchill (The Spitfire is) 'The most aesthetically beautiful aircraft the world has ever seen, their grace enhanced in the eyes of posterity by their role as the saviours of freedom'. So why not? Recently I actually built one called Jock you can see it HERE the sound track is great as well. Why Jock? Maybe later, anyway talking about grandchildren our youngest, now one year old, is called believe it or not Charlotte Elizabeth! our little Princess.
Monday June 8th 2015
OK it wasn’t that funny and it probably wasn’t Bob the Beaver it was probably Gordon the Gopher, either way it was the most exciting part of the race. Moving on, today was the long awaited ‘old boys hike’ in the Sussex hills. We have more than 300 years between the four of us and apart from the odd twinge, gasp and trip we never give up. The lush green fields and hedgerows rolling into the distance were a sight to behold not to mention the wildlife struggling to make itself heard amongst the sound of the arriving texts, emails and phone calls. If you don’t know Kingley Vale just north of Chichester, it is worth the trip.
Thursday June 11th 2015
Today I spent an hour and a half listening to a guy I know who’s made millions in the Big Apple. If you want to hear Neil Capel’s story about ‘predictive marketing’ i.e. knowing what your customer wants before your customer does - then click HERE (you have to scroll down a bit). Henry couldn't understand it either so he and I went for a stroll on another of his favourites – Oxshott Heath – or Oxshott Woods as us locals call it. It is a place with dappled glades, strongly scented pine, sandy hollows, heathery slopes and a million memories and probably the place where I will scatter my ashes?
Friday June 12th 2015
Reason to celebrate today, my eldest granddaughter called to say that she had delivered her first baby. I’m trying to work out whether or not that makes me a great grandfather – she’s a trainee midwife. Also today somebody won £93 million on the lottery – it wasn’t me – phew!
Stunning Image of Red Arrrows removed temporarily.
Might be copyright!
Saturday June 13th 2015
Red Arrows seen over Cobham this morning on their way from the flypast at the Trooping of the Colour celebrating The Queen's Birthday to the Biggin Hill Air Show. Nothing to do with walking to work except that Flying to Work could be my next project. dot.com! Also Cobham Flower Show today organised by Cobham Garden Club, a great turn out well attended amazing sweet peas and rhubarb.
Sunday June 14th 2015
Now I don’t want this blog to descend into a series of boring tweets so I’ll leave it now until I can think of something really interesting to discuss?……………………………….. like why is it that the ceiling roses in the bedrooms of this 80 year old house are not in the centre of the ceilings? They are about two feet from the windows, I have lived here for over 40 years and for 30 years I didn’t notice, it wasn’t until an old girl friend of mine woke up one morning and said ‘Bob, why aren’t your lamps in the middle of the room?’ I hasten to add that the question came over breakfast! So why is it that the builders in 1935 put the bloody lamps near the window? If you have the answer you would make someone very happy.
Tuesday June 23rd 2015
THE MUSCLE ENGINE
•So? Tell me why it won’t work? If you can’t read it on your smart phones the title is :-
•ENERGY SOURCE UTILISING ELECTRICALLY STIMULATED ANIMAL MUSCLE.
•Notes. The muscle is to be enclosed in a suitably conducive environment to achieve maximum efficiency.
•The rest should be obvious
•Apply electrical stimulation to the muscles in turn, result they contract and relax.
•This one is ‘double acting’ but could be a million acting.
Yes it’s a bit like your bicycle but this muscle has been extracted from an animal and it thinks it’s still alive in a ‘conducive environment’. Q.E.D.
Before you dismiss the idea completely, there is something out there called Electroactive Polymer which is a synthetic muscle and in my mind could wipe out the internal combustion engine and it’s pollution at a stroke except that the oil companies might have something to say about that.
OK so much for that my next project was ‘THE APO’ which could solve the national debt problem. The APO took me 12 years to develop; I even invested cash in this one. The product even prompted the following from Iain Murray of Marketing Week on July 26th 1985 ‘The beauty and simplicity of the scheme are breath-taking’. Watch this space.
Thursday June 25th 2015
The APO
OK, Lottie gave me two raspberries so it’s a go. It all started with the great floods of 1968 when Downside Bridge got swept away, I happened to be working in the USA at the time but came back to find a pile of rubble on each bank of the River Mole. I retrieved a few bricks, which was built in 1780, and wondered what sounds and sights those pieces of old rubble had experienced. Think of it. My great grandparents, among others, and their family walked, rode and trotted regularly over the bridge to Cobham from their home in Ockham.
I selected a piece of rubble and embedded it in a clear epoxy resin and put it on the mantel piece and decided that plenty of others would love ‘A Piece Of Historic Rubble’ and the APO was born. Next was the concrete race track at Brooklands, at the time I was working inside the track and spent my lunch hour selecting ‘pieces of history’ - only a few! By 1986 I had streamlined the design, invested in a plastic mould for the plinth and designed a jaunty pyramid package. I designed and registered the APO logo as a ‘Seal of Authenticity’ – how could it fail? Because I was crap at marketing despite having gained a Diploma in Sales and Marketing from the National School of Salesmanship (another story) and I couldn’t do everything.
In 1989 somebody offered me a Jumbo Jet full of the recently demolished Berlin Wall, I declined. I then set up a stall in Gatwick Airport with hundreds of ‘Pieces of Old England’ but it was in the wrong terminal as most passers-by were off to the Costa del Sol and A Piece Of Old England was not on their shopping list, my daughter who volunteered to assist me wished she hadn’t. Undaunted I switched to semi-precious stones and sold them in the canteen at Air Products where I worked (and other places including Harrods) for Christmas presents – they sold out. What can I say? Incidentally I was permanently ‘high’ on the fumes in my shed from the epoxy resin. Today I have a few samples left so you better hurry! There is more to it, however I’ll spare you the detail except maybe for this piece of sales literature which I was, and still am, quite proud of and which prompted the article in Marketing Week.
THE APO SOUVENIR
A Genuine Piece of History
It is a great shame that much of our National Heritage ends up as a pile of forgotten rubble – discarded,
burnt, pulverised or at best as hard core for new foundations.
Historic walls, floors, ceilings, fixtures, fittings, or even pathways, roads, bridges, race tracks,
airfield runways, buildings and structures of all kinds, all are disappearing at an ever increasing rate,
all have their own unique historic significance and all are of interest to many people.
It is true that some of this demolition is for the sake of restoration but what about the REAL historic fabric,
what about the REAL history that lies within this discarded rubble. Rubble that actually echoed the voices,
the cries, the laughter, the screams, the moans, the agonies and excitement of the past.
Rubble that once was the fabric of our society.
Surely there must be a way to preserve from oblivion, to perpetuate the memory of even a small piece of history.
Even your favourite pub surely deserved a better fate.
The APO Souvenir is a unique memento, a GENUINE piece of history.
Each piece has a story to tell about it’s PRECISE place in history, about those who touched it and the sounds it echoed.
If walls had ears……..?
So, that’s it, 12 years in a nutshell, next is the EasyReader which was 15 years, watch this space.
Bottom right is a round within a square and can be separated. Ingenious!
Sunday 28th June 2015
In the news this morning is a piece about 'The RAF Bases That Time Forgot' you can see it HERE. What an opportunity for someone to package up all the bits, write a potted history and sell them to all the tourists. It could be called 'The APO'!
The only other way of earning a crust that I have succeeded at and is worth a mention is that of becoming a Recruitment Consultant or Employment Agent. All the time I spent working at the drawing board I also spent dreaming of ‘alternatives’ and in 1988 I set up a one man business called Independent Recruitment Services for Professional Engineers and Designers. I took a small office in Cobham High Street and walked to work every morning for 18 months before the cheques started rolling in. I then got bored with it and went back to the drawing board – literally. In 1992 I then wrote ‘A Guide to Recruitment Consultancy’ by Bob Jones which spells out my own particular modus operandi. I have one copy left which will explain everything. I note that James Caan (from Dragon's Den) started his multimillion recruitment empire in 1993. I’m not sure if he bought a copy or not.
It is not my intention to turn this blog into a boring autobiography so I’ll quit now until I can come up with something of real interest. So watch this space. Thank you.
I've now got to work out how to add a page to this blog as it's got too long. What was that Sam? Don't bother?
Monday June 29th 2015
I learnt to fly a Spitfire in 1964, well it wasn't a Spitfire it was a Piper Colt (to me it was a Spitfire), no radio, no flaps and no runway - just line up with the windsock and take off on the grass at Fairoaks. 7 hours and 5 minutes later I went solo - not all on the same day though. After a few cross countries and a few classroom sessions I qualified for a PPL and began taking brave friends and family for a ride over the hills, woods and back gardens of Surrey. I amassed over 100 hours in another Spitfire (Piper Cherokee) and managed not to bend anything or anybody. A couple of years ago I tried to pick it up where I had left off but couldn’t hear the radio, couldn’t see the dashboard and forgot the chocks so gave it up. Why is this relevant? Well we can all dream can’t we? My instructor was one Wing Commander Cyril Arthur a legend at the time, he was my age when he taught me. There is hope yet!
These are beautiful Pieces of Old England three hundred million years old from the Mendip Hills - the pieces of Downside Bridge and Brooklands Track sold out. Then the fumes from the epoxy resin got the better of me so I gave it up.
NB The rock sits in a pool of hardened resin and displays it beautifully.
The Surrey Advertiser Friday October 10th 1986 on the left. Still seeking.
The APO's top right are stacked up against my shed which one day I might turn into 'historic rubble', think of it.
This is a piece of Bob's shed, built in 1978, each brick and tile lovingly laid by the hand of Bob and each bucket of cement mixed with his own shovel and each piece witness to the sight, sound and smell of Bob.
Definitely a winner - or maybe not!
Enthusiasm for the APO rekindled after reading that – probably make a million myself!
Friday 26th June 2015
The EASYREADER put simply, again, is a unique product. People will tell you that there are many book supports out there that do the same job but they are wrong. Judge for yourself, I have approximately 200 left in my garage in case you would like one.
The Easyreader is designed to 'take the strain' while reading in bed or holding your recipe book or reference book.
You will need an over bed table for reading in bed (they are supplied if you are unfortunate enough to be in hospital) and yes, you have to turn the pages.
The clever design uses a second book as a counterbalance in order to prevent your book (or kindle) from tipping forward.
The second book will also prevent the pages from a hard back or paper back from closing.
The support is 30cm wide and will cope with most books or magazines.
It is designed and made in the UK from tough 3mm thick clear Acrylic Sheet.
Put on my black tie again today, this time for a colourful lady who was a part of my childhood she was laid to rest beside her husband who died some 30 years ago, today is also their wedding anniversary – divine intervention? Goodbye Mrs T.
Saturday 27th June
I’ve started so I’ll finish.
THE HANDY SANDER
Unlike the previous products the Handy Sander came to me suddenly one morning in the shed. I had the problem of sanding down a painted brick wall with the coarsest grade of sandpaper (or aluminium oxide). The sanding blocks out there in all the DIY stores were just various shapes and sizes of ‘blocks’. So, I found a length of standard rainwater down pipe – 68mm diameter, chopped off a length of 115mm – the same width as a standard roll of sandpaper (in the UK), slotted it down its length with a 25mm wide slot and bingo, you have a combined sanding block and dispenser which is wonderful to use. You can make these yourselves in 10 minutes flat, round or square, black or white to taste.
The product has been evaluated by a leading global manufacturer and although the Innovations Manager thought it was a great idea the costs/profits didn’t stack up. I thought of making a couple of million in the shed but then I woke up. In any case the shed is full of APO’s and Easyreaders at the moment.
Something of interest?
Splashed out on a Thai meal last night at The Victoria Oxshott – ate too much, drunk too much – never learn. The Vic’ is a place also of a million memories; I started going there at the age of 17 in 1956 when I had hair, what did I look like? This is me with Gloria from Wales – she was interesting!
Asked to drive 50 miles round the M25 today to visit a ‘with it’ 100 year old in a care home in Essex. To my passengers surprise I jumped at the chance as I was in a mood to mix it with the tail gaters, lane jumpers, turn the wheel and then indicate or simply don’t indicate brigade. I have no problem with lane hoggers and I sympathise with that poor sod who got done for lane hogging. It’s a shame we have a lane called a ‘fast’ lane or an ‘overtaking’ lane. In the States you pick your lane and pootle along at 55mph, or used to in 1969. If somebody wants to undertake or overtake then be my guest – much safer. I reckon that we in the UK have the wrong mind set about overtaking, why must it be in the ‘fast lane’? I think I’ll write to someone.
Care homes are depressing places, especially when you get older. I think that everyone who works there deserves a medal but they are still depressing. I tried to engage with some of the cared for about my blog but nobody stirred.
Monday May 11th 2015
Apologies, I had every intention of producing an un-missable blog every day but missed the deadline due to unforseen circumstances. You will be interested to know that according to Google Analytics hits for this site shot up to 33 last week - most of them from Brazil - probably interested in Spitfires! Good to know that we now have a 'stable' government, I've never understood why the rest are called the 'opposition', is it because they are required to oppose regardless? That's enough of politics, I've just got to nip down the high street and count the road rage incidents - could be avoided if there was more walking to work!
Friday May 22nd 2015
Apologies again, had to go to Ibiza in a Spitfire - well there were around 150 others on board - but to me it was a Spitfire. Flew through somebody else's vortex on the way back which caused a momentary concern but she took it in her stride, the pilot was a young lady as well. Never fails to amaze me how it all works, I used to work for Boeing way back in the sixties so I should be somewhat enlightened in aerodynamic matters and structures but the sophisticated systems of nowadays are mind blowing except of course at Heathrow Border Control when more than one Spitfire disgorges a few thousand passengers in one dollop.
Sunday May 24th 2015
The only problem about going on holiday nowadays is you are requested to 'fill in the questionnaire' about all aspects of your trip, 'Why did you say that you were extremely satisfied with your flight?' Because I was extremely satisfied! Who dreams up these idiotic questionnaires? Maybe they are all predictive text. I think I’ll write a book using predictive text, it’s probably been done already but the most important part of the system is normally available for the next couple of weeks ago………..I’ve decided to plant some runner beans after all.
Tuesday May 26th 2015
I expect that if there is anyone out there reading this you will have deduced that I am a child of the forties and fifties and as such consider myself very fortunate to be able to do one press up every morning, it's probably because we spend more in our Energetic Health food shop than in Waitrose. 'It is exercise alone that supports the spirits and keeps the mind in vigour', not sure who said it but if it means that I will be capable of two press ups next week then there is hope.
Wednesday May 27th 2015
Talking of Energetic Health, yesterday I covered 60 yards in less time than it takes for our little one year old Princess to fall backwards in her plastic garden chair and prevent her from coming to grief, the phrase ‘faster than a speeding bullet’ came to mind. Fortunately her Grandmother witnessed the whole episode in slow motion and awarded me one and a half brownie points; maybe those expensive daily doses of 100mg Bio-Quinone are worth it after all.
Sunday May 31st 2015
Many years ago my clairvoyant told me that I would write seven books before I die, I started my first one about seven years ago, which is still not finished yet, which means that I will finish the last one in 2057 and bearing in mind it is nearly 60 years since I passed my driving test I reckon that either I will live to 199 or I might not. Tip of the day – do your press ups half way up the stairs – it’s easier.
Tuesday June 2nd 2015
I don’t want to be focused too much on ‘getting old’ but yesterday was another reminder, I was refused insurance from a car rental company – they don’t care if you are over 75 in Ibiza – think I’ll move to Ibiza. Henry wouldn’t be too pleased if I did so perhaps I’ll stay put, Henry is the chocolate Labrador we look after a couple of times a week, he’s lovely really. We are now told that standing up at your work place is good for you, great, I feel good, I stood up for 48 years at an old fashioned drawing board, sharpening my pencil and rubbing out – sorry deleting.
Thursday June 4th 2015
There's a lot of tragic stories out there at the moment but the sun came up again this morning. Well the sun didn’t actually come up I was on a part of a spinning planet which allowed me to see the sun again. Hope you were too.
Friday June 5th 2015
Had time to think today, think about all my failed inventions, the APO, the Easyreader, the Handy Sander not to mention walktowork.co.uk, there were many others that even I have forgotten. The Anti-Gravity machine did work, I even made one but it went into orbit and not been seen since. There is always hope.
Sunday June 7th 2015
Conversation overheard this afternoon in Beaver Lodge Montreal Canada – ‘What did I tell you young Bob, before crossing the road? Look right, look left then right then left again, except, EXCEPT, when the Grand Prix comes to town, then you look left, left, left, left and left again and what did you do ? Yes, you looked right. If you’d have got flattened by Lewis Hamilton and his mates you would have been headline news, now finish your sticks and get to bed we’ve got this damn dam to finish tomorrow’.
Wednesday June 10th 2015
If you take the trouble to Google Kingley Vale you would learn that ‘it is known for its twisted and ancient yews and includes a grove of veteran trees which are among the oldest living things in Britain’ well all I can say we (and they) were in good company! Also, the wildlife struggling to make itself heard could have included a Melodious Warbler so named because of its melodious tweet, I would be interested to know if there is a Grumpy Warbler and if so he or she would also have found itself in good company. No, I didn’t mean you Den.
By the way the view from the top of Kingley Vale is quite magnificent; the whole of Chichester Harbour is spread out in front of you from Hayling Island to Dell Quay. You can see virtually all of the Isle of Wight, the container ships plying in and out of Southampton and in the near distance one of our party, I won’t say who, spotted an oil drilling rig, well we knew that there was a lot of fracking planned for the area but surely not already? On closer inspection with the bin’s it turned out to be Chichester Cathedral with a nodding donkey in a nearby field – sorry Den. Today was a Henry day, he always looks forward to a sniff round our local beauty spot Polesden Lacey, the view from there is also magnificent, in the distance you can spot all the Spitfires lifting off from zero nine left at Heathrow – (today was a cool North Easterly). If you squint a bit you can just make out the queue into the fast track booths in Terminal 5 Border Control which stretches outside, up and down the taxi ways and half way up the glide slope to zero nine right. That’s not funny either, especially if you are in it.
Monday June 15th 2015
Since starting this blog I have become aware of a billion bloggers out there all eager to immerse you in their worlds. All you have to do is search for any name plus blog (i.e. Bob's Blog etc). Most are boring and self-obsessed some are innocent and charitable some are clever, artistic and inspiring some are funny and not so funny. Some are dogs, cats and all manner of creatures all eager to share their worlds. However if you are not careful you will find yourself drawn into all sorts of murky places, so beware. My take on all us bloggers is that nobody else has the slightest interest, so blog away safe in the knowledge that nobody cares two monkeys – except maybe posterity.
Being a Spitfire enthusiast I searched for ‘aero blog’ and came up with THIS it is an invasion of Spitfires that is an everyday occurrence in the UK, play the video on full screen and be prepared to gasp at the 'power of the digital pen'.
Today we bought a ‘Two Together’ railcard to deepest Yorkshire via Platform 9 and three quarters at Kings Cross. Watching endless queues of people eager to have their photograph taken pushing Harry Potter's luggage through a wall while jumping up in the air was, to me bizarre but a testament to ‘the power of the pen’ by J K Rowling. When I say we went to Yorkshire I mean I went with the person who has put up with me for nearly 50 years and still thinks (on occasions) that I am amazing – especially when I fit a new knob on the saucepan lid – which is often.
The reason for the trip to Yorkshire was, yes, a sad one, sharing in somebody else’s grief but also the celebration of a life is always a journey of mixed emotions. However we had one window of opportunity to visit a local point of interest, which, fortunately was the home of the Bronte family in Haworth a delightful Yorkshire village with a cobble stoned High Street and ‘The Parsonage’ the home of Charlotte, Emily and family who draw visitors from around the world to wonder at the vision, emotion and inspiration pouring from a pen nib, which I studied in great detail. The ‘power of the pen’.
The train ride was great Sir Richard (Branson) but a long way to go to beat the Spanish Renfe. Also the Premier Inn Bingley was great Sir Lenny (Henry) except for your choice of music at breakfast.
Thursday June 18th 2015
Sunflowers are nearly 5 feet high, runner beans failed again! Corn on the cob looking good. Nearly summer solstice. If there is anyone out there fed up with Parakeets and Jackdaws raiding their bird feeders – I’ve solved the problem. Details on request.
Sunday June 21st 2015
For those of you who may be interested in how it is that I can put together this incredible (before it’s time!) web site, I use www.moonfruit.com. It allows you to control every pixel. In the past I have paid money to various ‘professional’ web builders who frankly didn’t have a clue as to where I was coming from. There were times when the site had to be rescued from ‘the hackers’ who kindly left graffiti daubed on most pages – highly frustrating. However, finally here we are with a fantastic opportunity for a fellow visionary. Hello? I believe there is something out there called Social Media which maybe I should engage with but I think I am past learning another language like hash tags, linky dins, Facebook, Google+, Instagram, Reddit, Pinterest, Vine, Tumblr, Twitter; Nexopia, Badoo, Bebo, Vkontakte , Delphi, Draugiem.lv, Hyves, iWiW, Nasza-Klasa, Soup, Glocals, Skyrock, The Sphere, StudiVZ, Tagged, Tuenti, Myspace, Xanga and XING; Mxit, Cyworld, Mixi, Orkut, Renren, Friendster, Sina Weibo…………. actually it does seem to make perfect sense after all!
Monday June 22nd 2015
A couple of months ago I fought my way through a cloud of dust which had come from my old brief case, dusted down my Pentel pencil, scale ruler and eraser and drew up some plans for an extension to little Charlotte’s house. Today we got the stamp of approval from the local council so little Princess blew me a raspberry of delight – the old skill is still there! Now I have to get Building Regulation approval the fee for which is extortionate.
Anyway the point of this episode is that in my old brief case disgorged pieces of old parchment which I had forgotten about. They hold details of inventions/designs/ideas which have emanated from I don’t know where and which, one day will ‘change the world’. So what? I hear you say, we’ve heard it all before. Well now I have decided to reveal all to the world in these pages over the next however long it takes. No doubt there will be somebody out there who might recognise the genius, make a million and cut me in for a percentage – some hopes. First I will reveal details of an Application for a Patent for a revolutionary source of energy dated about 1960 which never got out of my brief case. No Chic, it’s not your anti-gravity machine. Watch this space.
Wednesday June 24th 2015
Not sure I want to go on with this, it sounds like some deluded, potty professor, that’s what most of my friends and family think. I’ll wait until tomorrow and talk it over with little Charlotte Elizabeth at least she and I talk the same language – Farmyard. I blame it all on the bomb. If you click HERE it may explain a few things.
Tuesday June 30th 2015
Most days of the week you will catch me running around with a car load of tools doing DIY mostly for friends and family (I hate decorating). I am thinking of answering those desperate calls from our local streetlife.com feeds for all those ladies out there looking for ‘a handyman’. Yesterday Melissa wanted ‘Urgent, Man with a big hammer - I am very urgently looking for a gent who could help me knock some rods out which have been hammered into the ground, to support a chicken wire fence, with the ground being so dry I just don't seem to be able to manage with my little hammer. They are not cemented in. Im sure a strong man would manage easily. I would be so grateful for some muscle or an extra helping hand. I’m thinking of answering the call.
Henry the chocolate Labrador came back from his holidays yesterday – he didn’t get sunburnt he just melted a bit.
This is really interesting. All us pensioners with meagre savings have had a bit of a raw deal for some years now with the low interesting rates. Well about a year ago I invested a few pounds in FundingCircle.com and currently getting a much better return – like 7% after fees, costs and losses? It’s a highly sophisticated system and you have to keep on top of it but if you are interested have a look at it and if you do want to invest then let me know and they will give me (and you) £50. Basically you buy ‘loan parts’ and join others in funding farmers who want to buy another cow and all sorts. I'm not sure which part of the cow I bought.
Don’t you hate these ‘pop up’ adverts, you only have to breathe on my tablet and it pops up with ‘amazing grab it now’ offers before it’s too late. You can blame young Neil Capel for a lot of it (see Thursday June 11th). You will notice that this site doesn’t have any of that only a discreet link to Grenson.com for when you need a decent pair of shoes for your walk to work. The fact that he’s my son-in-law has nothing to do with it. Also a discreet link to Tim Wilde for when you need advice for when you become famous or when you need to make your will or a power of attorney. The fact that he is also my son-in-law has nothing to do with it.
Wednesday July 1st 2015
In order to tell you about another untapped source of energy, the details of which I sent to Trevor Baylis of ‘wind up radio fame’ but he never replied, I have to tell you a longish story. I’ll try to pepper it with a few pic’s to make it more palatable.
It must have been around the mid 90’s that one of the guys I worked with thought it would be a good idea if I learned to sail. Against my better judgement I went along to Weirwood Sailing Club (near East Grinstead) jumped in a Topper one man dinghy and immediately capsized – before leaving the pontoon!. After a few capsizes and mouthfuls of reservoir I came away with a Level 1 Dinghy Sailing certificate, not sure how, as I still didn’t know how it was that yachts could go in many directions in the same wind. I then spent a week learning the ropes at a Sailing Club in Newton Ferrers (near Plymouth) and came away with a Level 2 Dinghy Sailing Certificate, this time I knew exactly how it was that yachts could go anywhere.
I then decided that yachting was the thing for me. After 6 months of study at Leatherhead Adult Education Centre I came away with a Competent Crew Certificate and a Day Skipper Certificate. All the practical side was completed on a friend’s yacht in Chichester Harbour and at Dream Seekers Sailing School in Falmouth, incidentally on this week long trip out of the five of us on board four of us were called Bob. Talk about the Keystone Cops – Bob get the bow line will you and Bob get the stern line, Bob you drop the main and you Bob be ready with the fender?
My fellow sailing buddies and I then chartered yachts from many ports. My briefcase has disgorged many hilarious stories of our exploits – boring to some but still hilarious. The highlight was in the summer of 2008 when we chartered a Bavaria 46 called ‘Ventum’ (with twin steering wheels} from Puerto Pollensa in Majorca. We sailed around Menorca, calling at Cuidadella, Fornells, Mahon, Binibeca and back to Alcudia. You can check some of the frantic action HERE.
As Captain on that trip I have to report that there was a fracas amongst the crew in Alcudia, the table in the quay side restaurant went flying along with my starter. Old wrinklies intent on causing havoc is not a pretty sight. The final leg back to Puerto Pollensa was completed without further incident. Sailing yacht Ventum was visibly relieved.
Details of the untapped source of energy should follow tomorrow.
ANTICIPATION CONFERENCE ORDERS
OLD BOB YOUNG BOB JOHN BILL MIKE
CARRYING OUT ORDERS TSUNAMI RETURN
Thursday July 2nd 2015
Untapped Source of Energy?
Now we’ve all seen time lapse photography of the tide rushing in and out twice a day. There’s quite a good one HERE. Now imagine what would happen if the skipper of that boat tied up at high tide and forgot to loosen the mooring lines. His boat would be suspended in mid-air - it could of course be your cruise liner moored up in Southampton or your barge tied up in Shepperton Lock. Probably better to imagine all these boats suspended by a few cranes at high tide.
What we have here is something called Potential Energy. Now imagine all those suspension cables connected to a KERS system (Kinetic Energy Recovery System) the same as the Formula 1 drivers have to harness energy from braking – are you with me? We now release the boats via the KERS and your boat starts to drop (or should do if you are on planet Earth) this is now something called Kinetic Energy which drives your generator which boils your kettle or charges your phone. Eureka? Afraid not.
Well I can tell you that the reason why Trevor Baylis didn’t bother to reply is because the amount of Horse Power generated is diddly squat compared with a wind generator. Or is it?
As I write there is a Solar Powered Spitfire half way across the Pacific heading for Hawaii, actually they call it Solar Impulse but to me it is a Spitfire. It has 4 propellers driven by electric motors powered by solar panels by day and batteries at night which have been charged up by solar panels during the day – get it? It is on an around the world trip. An incredible engineering feat but for me it doesn't quite fire the imagination. How much more incredible would it be if those propellers were powered by a ‘Muscle Engine’? See Tuesday June 23rd blog.
Just for the record and for you guys out there in Michigan who I know are reading this blog it is 36 centigrade out there in my back garden at the moment and Henry is lying doggo.
Tomorrow I’ll check my dusty old brief case and see what else is lurking.
Friday July 3rd 2015
My brief case is a can of worms, too much to record now without boring you to tears. It tells me that my ‘career’ was a succession of jobs (I stopped counting at 55) from the early days as an apprentice engineer which was a mistake as I intended to join the RAF, through to lecturing DIY to the inmates of a women’s high security prison and everything in between including selling Encyclopaedia Britannica and various other products. Drawing up bits for the Concorde and the Boeing 747 (and many other Spitfires) including the Fieldmaster Cropsprayer (see below). Pipes, brackets and all sorts of bits for oil rigs, chemical plant, glass plant, Mars Bars, small bits, big bits and medium size bits for all manner of products. Water rockets were interesting. Jobs in the USA, New Zealand, Aberdeen, Bournemouth, Isle of Wight, New Malden and all stations to Waterloo. All the time searching for something I might enjoy.
In the bottom of my brief case was a postcard with 50 words written on it. It was my entry for a competition organised by the Daily Mail in 1956 when I was 17. The competition was to write 50 words on ‘The Future of Aviation’ and the prize was a trip round Britain in a Spitfire (it was actually a Bristol Britannia – The Whispering Giant but to me it was a Spitfire) and guess what, I was one of the winners. I enjoyed the flight but most of all I enjoyed writing it. Q.E.D.
I’ll have to stop now, just received another survey questionnaire from the NHS asking a few questions.
•Do you have no problems doing your usual activities
•Do you have slight problems doing your usual activities
•Do you have moderate problems doing your usual activities
•Do you have severe problems doing your usual activities
•Are you unable to do your usual activities
If I could remember what my usual activities were I might be able to answer! No wonder they haven't got any money.
The NDN Fieldmaster
If you click HERE and look at the images you will see what it really looked like, you may even see some of my drawings. I drew up everything forward of the black box including the engine, propellor and nosewheel but it looks like the snails have been at it.
It really did fly.
The black box is the air intake for the PT6A turbine. In case you didn't know.
Saturday July 4th 2015 or 'the Fourth of July'
Looking back at my time at Boeing in Seattle in the late 60's out of all those 55 plus jobs I had this probably was the most enjoyable. Mainly because problems were solved with everybody on the same side of the table and not across the table. Boeing as you know make American Spitfires but they call them 707’s. 727’s, 737’s, 747’s, 757’s, 767’s, 777’s and 787’s (although they call those Dreamliners). Perhaps I should have stayed. Although in 1970 Boeing laid off 70,000 people and the phrase ' the last one to leave turn the lights out' was banded about so perhaps the right decision after all. What none of us knew was that in a garage down the street was a young lad called Bill Gates.
Sunday July 5th 2015
The Stars and Stripes remind me of another ‘project’ of mine. My wife claimed that her family were connected to George Washington but I never believed her. She has a close relative still with us who has Washington as his middle name so maybe there is something in it? I already subscribed to Ancestry.co.uk, so, with reference to on line ‘Public Family Trees’ (some of the trees have 50,000 names would you believe) I managed to go back 13 generations I then looked at George Washington’s family tree, which is in the public domain, and went back 4 generations and guess what? Yup! It is one and the same person. So, not a direct link but an ancestral link.
That person is The Reverend Lawrence Washington born in 1602 who lived at Sulgrave Manor in Northamptonshire. A couple of years ago I took my wife there and she was greeted with great reverence by the staff. The family coat of arms which is above the front door is reputed to have influenced the design for The Stars and Stripes. If you are really interested you can click HERE. We now have a magnificent framed chart hanging on our wall for all to see. Henry’s not impressed. So far I have traced my family tree back 4 generations to William Jones listed in the 1861 census as a 'Scavenger'! Professional of course!
Also today I have finally reached ‘The Age of Irresponsibility’. I signed something called a Power of Attorney so from now on my children are responsible for everything I do, or don’t do.............no comment.
Monday July 6th 2015
My Google Analytics tell me that there at least a dozen of you out there reading this, thank you. Despite having around 3000 pages on this site plus this BLOG I have only used 3Mb out of 500Mb available so room for plenty more rabbit. There is more but I’ll spare you today…………………………… No I won’t, I’m thinking of serialising my first unfinished book, which is riveting. It is called ‘The Survival of Species’ not to be confused with ‘On the Origin of Species’ by some guy called Charles Darwin. I’ll mix it up with a few Spitfires to make it more interesting.
Wednesday July 8th 2015
Henry has persuaded me to work out where I'm going with it before it gets published. Bit of a shame but he usually knows best. Instead I’ll treat you to a story about Bob and Marcia’s trip to Scotland in the spring of 2002 – just unearthed it from my brief case – whose Marcia? – I'll leave you to guess.
The references to commercial enterprises may be out of date.
He thinks it's a Spitfire.
LAC Jones 1172 Squadron
Hinchley Wood ATC
1953
Dreaming of flying a Spitfire
Thursday July 9th 2015
Enjoy? There could be loads more to come!
Green forest coming along soon to be yellow forest. Sunflowers nearly 8ft high, corn on the cob catching up.
Saturday July 11th 2015
For your information The Lochinver Larder is still thriving and amazingly the prices are little changed from 2002, either we were ripped off or Old Macdonald has sold it to young McDonald and sold 99 million already. You can get the mouth wateringly good menu HERE. Sadly Sharps Reliable Wrecks dot com have turned out not to be as reliable as Hamish had hoped.
Yesterday was almost the perfect day. Took off and headed down the A3 with two old ladies, OK I admit I am older than both of them but I had my kite on board and we were heading for one of our favourites ‘West Wittering Beach. After shaking off most of the tailgaters I felt alive again (for a while).
If you go there make sure the tide is out as the prairies of rippled sand and myriad warm shallow pools coupled with a high sky and a perfect kiting breeze makes it an intoxicating place but about to get even more intoxicating. Following a gentle stroll along to East Head to check out the yachties favourite anchoring place (they are still there) we set about staking our claim with wind break, picnic mat, picnic table, picnic chairs, parasols and picnic. The sight of an old duffer flying his kite without his grandchildren is, I admit, a bit sad but he put up a faultless performance and managed not to get tangled up in his string. His kite was one he bought in Chinatown, San Francisco some 15 years ago but still some find it embarrassing.
His kite flying was, as I said, faultless but eclipsed, blown away, out manoeuvred by, wait for it, a REAL SPITFIRE which treated all of us on the beach to a flip roll a barrel roll and a couple of loops – intoxicating. My guess it was one of those from the flypast up The Mall earlier that day in commemoration of The 75th Anniversary of The Battle of Britain, this particular Spitfire is a two seater and is based up the road at Goodwood Airfield, you can even get a ride in it if you’ve got a spare £3000………………………..?
On the way back we popped into Chichester Marina, the starting place for many memorable trips and stories, for a cup of tea and a slice of your finest but sadly the facility was closed but hang on a minute, a brand new timber clad development overlooking the lock beckoned. The new Boat House Restaurant surrounded with picnic tables and views was even further intoxicating – they do sell intoxicants if you so desire.
I won’t bang on any more today about the Crown and Anchor at Dell Quay up the road but it’s still there Mac and so is the hook in the wall for the Bull Ring! – thanks for your message. The answer to your question is about 3am!
Spitfire, sorry Kite, on West Wittering Beach, it does have a long, colourful tail as well - jealous?
Sunday 12th July 2015
Enjoyed an evening of 50’s rock music on BBC2 last night. In my early teens I learnt a few chords on the Mandolin and Banjo and by 1960 I had bought a guitar (still got it) teamed up with a few likeminded buddies and started a folk group. We were called ‘The Foley Brothers’ I won’t bore you with how the name came about except that we knew a few Irish folk songs also ‘Where Have All The Flowers Gone’, ‘Jingle Bells’ and a few others. Every Christmas we would tour the pubs of Putney (because there are more pubs there per square yard) and treat the revellers to a sing-a-long. One night our lead singer, who was a handsome beast, was caught chatting up a few lady admirers. On the way out we were confronted by a bunch of thugs intent on doing some damage. Our man had obviously chosen somebody else’s bird to chat up. Last night I learnt that Jerry Lee Lewis, Gene Vincent and Chuck Berry had exactly the same problem. Fame at last!
Although I was (and still am) very much ‘moved’ by 50’s rock music, Trad’ Jazz at the Thames Hotel, Hampton Court was, and still is, even more moving! I know at least two of you out there in Ottawa who are reading this would probably agree with me. Thank you Mac’ and Judy.
Incidentally so far I haven’t had any complaints, yet, from anybody else who may be reading this (9 of you according to my Google Analytics). Praise or suggestions gratefully received.
I’ll try to focus on ‘walking to work’ soon. Although I’ve just found 40 pages of sailing stories in my brief case – what do you think?
Monday 13th July 2015
Having a bit of trouble with links and layout - please report any errors or links that don't work.
Just to prove I can write poetry as well the following recalls the longest sailing trip I made. I'll spare you the full log for the moment.
A TRIP FROM BREST TO FALMOUTH VIA THE SCILLIES AS A CREW MEMBER
ABOARD THE YACHT ‘BAROLO’ A GIBSEA 402. SEPT 2004
From Ushant to The Scillies - with apologies to John Masefield
I shared a week with Joe and Jane, and skipper Bob as well
The skipper's wife Denise (not Mabel)
Kept all the the crew provided
Whenever she was able
Now Joe and Jane from Lancashire puffed all day
And much of the night on ciggy's that must of cost a packet
But Joe still found plenty of time, between the puffs
To tell all his plans to sail the world aboard his yacht The Racket!
The crew assembled on the pontoon in Brest
Awaiting orders from the skipper
The first day's sail took them to Camaret
A pleasant port, and an evening with Guinness and kipper
The next day's plans were to call in at Ushant
The skipper said I've never been before it'd be good to go somewhere new
The weather allowed a tricky entry the crew relaxed and took in the view
And a glass of wine or two plus two plus two plus two
On return to the yacht the swell had increased from the Atlantic fetch
I suggested we'd better leave soon,
The skipper agreed we battened the hatches and left at dusk to sail to the Scillies
With heads that were swimming with a happy tune
The next twenty hours would see the crew experience many things
The thrashing breakers on the west of Ushant
The miles of tankers tied together in red and green strings
The setting Sun the rising Moon and the reflection of the stars
The rising wind the scudding clouds the dolphins diving under the stern
An experience on the edge
Of consciousness until pierced by the sound of the cardinal bell
To the east of Spanish Ledge
The Scillies did not disappoint, a day off on St Mary's replaced the sound of the drum
A pasty, ice cream and a Guinness or two
Followed by a shower kindly offered
At the flat of Joe's old Mum
The forecast not good was of wind of force seven and eights
Forced the hand of the skipper to cut short the stay
A visit to St Agnes, Bryher and Tresco had to wait as rounding the Lizard at night in a gale, would no doubt
Mean a glance at the heavens and pray
We set sail at two in the afternoon and said goodbye to the Isles of Scilly
Straight into thick fog we went – with a wind approaching a gale
Leaving Spanish Ledge on an easterly course
But at least it wasn’t too chilly
The next 10 hours at an angle of 45 or more
We struggled to make the tea
Everything not nailed down ended up on the floor
Impossible if you needed a ***
On clearing the lanes The Lizard light came into view
Which seemed to remain on the port beam for a day or two
The overfalls off Lizard Point for a time added to the motion
The swell and the breaking waves tested Barolo and her crew – but refused to give in to the Ocean
The Manacles Rock was the next one to miss
On the approach to the Helford River
With unerring accuracy yours truly helmed the last miles
In the dark and managed to hang on to his liver
We picked up a buoy about three in the morning
Retired to our bunks and slept like babes
We woke at eleven after a quiet night
And looked forward to a barbecue on the beach that evening
It was great except that poor old Joe suffered first-degree burns
On his fingers from the red hot coals he’d buried in the sand – he tried not to say ‘**** it’
When he tried to dig a hole in the sand with his hand instead of a shovel
And spent the night with his hand in a bucket
The following day Barolo and her crew beat back into Falmouth for a well-earned rest
The skipper said we’d better not linger
We’d better get Joe to the hospital quick
For treatment on his finger
The final day saw no let up in the weather
The skipper asked the crew what they wanted to do
To a man it was practise man overboard in case next time it may be you
Not really – hopefully not never - ever.
Well there was at least one line that was almost profound but that was about it.
Tuesday 14th July 2015
Well there was at least one line that was almost profound but that was about it. I have written poems which are really profound but unable to find them at the moment. What was that Sam? Don’t bother? So, In the meantime my briefcase has disgorged some more stories. For those of you who have no interest in stories about sailing or hiking I’ll put them on a different page. Sadly some of the characters are no longer with us so I would like to look at this blog as a sort of ‘In Memoriam’.
Click HERE for ‘The Millennium Hike’ an account of a hike from Studland Bay along the Dorset Coast Path.
Wednesday 15th July 2015
If you are really interested in sailing click HERE for the 'Solent Experience'.
Thursday 16th July 2015
If you are really, really interested in sailing click HERE for 'The Croatia Experience'.
Saturday 18th July 2015
OK, that's frightened off half of my followers - must have been my attempt at poetry. Briefcase nearly given up all its secrets except for a couple of Dinghy stories – not dingy stories! – but they can wait. There is an I.D. badge I collected from a job in New Zealand in 1982 hanging in my briefcase but that would only read like a Bill Bryson travelogue – could be a best seller? I think I’ll add that one only if requested…………….?
What will be interesting is my vision for ‘Walktowork’ and that is to add to this website all those advertisements for staff stuck to shop windows so that a lot more people see them. There are plenty of them in Cobham at the moment. I’m sure the shopkeepers wouldn’t mind spending a couple of quid a week. Imagine, we could franchise off all the 3000 post code areas at say £1000 each that would be about £3,000,000 for starters and then say 5% commission on all advertising. Actually I have already done that some 15 years ago which produced all those testimonials on page 1 of this blog, so it does work. I am aware that there are a lot of web sites out there that attempt this, you only have to search for ‘local jobs’ but my experience is that they are not local, you usually end up with job vacancies the other end of the country. Hopeless.
If that fails I could always offer sight seeing trips on the river at Chiswick!
Got my first customer already!
Monday 20th July 2015
Prize Sunflowers now at their best, spot the person trying to get in on the act, for scale purposes only of course.
For those of you who are really, really, really interested in sailing click HERE for the full log of the round Menorca trip.
On this day 46 years ago the first Moon landing occurred.
Where were you?
I was with my wife, two year old daughter, Chic, Lyn and family on the beach on Chukanut Drive in Larrabee State Park, Washington State, USA. Remember?
You probably remember the drive back more than the Moon landing!
Wednesday 22nd July 2015
Found another few bits in my shed which remind me of another ‘project’ which my children and grandchildren will remember also some of the boys at Parkside School, Cobham might remember (if they were paying attention!) where I was employed as a Technical Assistant in 2004. It is a ‘Round the Pole’ powered model aircraft for your table top. I built mine from Lego and fitted a reversible low voltage electric motor which drives a propeller. Power is via ‘slip rings’ on top of the pylon and is via a ‘variable resistor’ which gives you a ‘throttle’ giving you forward and reverse thrust. See drawing below.
I sent the idea to Lego some years ago, they did reply but it was a ‘thanks but no thanks’ reply. I still don’t see any on the market.
Friday 24th July 2015
Sorry, that should read Taxiing and not Taxying but can’t be bothered to rub it out. Probably the reason that there aren't any on the market is because they can be a touch dangerous in the wrong hands. Bit of a shame as you can challenge each other to do ‘spot landings’ using the reverse thrust – very exciting!
Finally got Building Regulations Approval for Lottie’s extension now it’s only a question of building it – no problem – 40 years ago I built, single handed, an extension on this house – it’s still standing. To be honest I did get old Bert in to do the plastering but that was all and I did it in less than 6 months. I don’t remember taking time off work either. What am I trying to prove? You tell me.
Today, sadly, is another black tie day, tomorrow a wedding in Wimbledon.
I’ve started reading Jane Eyre for a bit of inspiration.
Saturday 25th July 2015
In the meantime, if you have nothing else to do, you can click HERE for a riveting account of a short hike along the beach from West Wittering. I’m still working on the Dinghy stories and the poems – could be next week with any luck. I’ll try not to make this blog too introspective but I think that inevitably happens to us bloggers (authors!). When I get through Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre you could be in for a passionate story of unrequited love in the Drawing Office, I think I might need a pseudonym for that one.
Another lovely/sad/emotional send off yesterday for young B, she was a lovely girl also ‘one of the boys’, goodbye B now reunited with her Raymond.
Sunday 26th July 2015
Back in 1987 I decided to try my luck as a one man recruitment consultant in the Engineering field and set up an outfit called Independent Recruitment Services and rented a tiny office in Cobham High Street. Following a year of getting organised, coding hundreds of CV's and Vacancies on a programme called Cardbox on an old fashioned 'green screen' computer, making a few phone calls the cheques started to roll in. I then got bored with it and went back to the drawing board. But not before I wrote a book explaining how to do it. The book is really boring but is available on a PDF if you would like a copy.
UNCONNECTED
I could write a volume about this car. It's a 1933 MG J1 Salonette picture taken about 1959 taken behind Don's shop in Bookham.
I paid £75 for it stripped the engine twice, rebuilt it then the main bearings went again so I broke it up and sold the bits.
Sacre bleu!
Not sure who the bloke is!
Monday 27th July 2015
I have a request to recall what it was like growing up without the all-encompassing digital revolution. I suppose the answer must be, we didn’t know any different. How do we know now, for instance, that very soon 3D printing will develop into ‘teleportation of matter’ or ‘beam me up Scottie’?
It probably won’t but we don’t know. If it did, it’s possible you could get a crossed line and end up with something you don’t want. The mind boggles. If it did work we certainly wouldn’t need another runway at Heathrow in fact we wouldn’t need any runways anywhere or aircraft for that matter or trucks or cars or wheels or…………………………..
To try to answer the question more seriously, information came leisurely by word of mouth, by letter, newspaper or radio although having said that my grandparents also living in Oxshott didn’t have electricity until the mid 50’s. I used to cycle up the village with a square glass jar full of sulphuric acid sloshing about and a couple of lead plates which was called an ‘accumulator’ battery in order to get it charged up for their radio – I tried not to fall off my bike. For me the ‘outside world’ was all the Spitfires droning overhead in and out of Heathrow, although in those days they called them Boeing Stratocruisers, Lockheed Constellations, DC4’s and DC 6’s. Convair 340’s, Handley Page Hermes and Hastings, Vickers Viking and all sorts, all routed over the ‘Epsom NDB Beacon’ which was in a field overlooking Oxshott – it’s still there. The sight and particularly the sound of all of those Spitfires conjured up visions of faraway people and places in your mind and not on a screen. Same as a book.
By the mid 60’s we’d cracked the transistor, printed circuit board (which I drew up plenty), the silicon chip and the binary code problem so the digital revolution was on its way. In practical terms it meant that the black and white television was replaced by the colour TV and a little box called an ITV converter (I made a few in the shed) enabled you to receive ‘Commercial Television’. In our house we stuck with the B and W TV for longer than most so I got the p*** taken out of me every Monday in the office when everybody else watched a programme on colour tele’ called ‘Pot Black’ a weekly snooker match with different colour balls (in case you didn’t know), ‘Hi Bob, did you see Pot Grey last night?’ What they didn’t realise (nor did I) is that I was watching 50 shades of grey!
In the late sixties early seventies a thing called a ‘calculator’ appeared and replaced the slide rule (still got a slide rule in my brief case) for all your calculations. One morning a guy in the office turned up with a ‘digital watch’ – the envy of all. I can see old Bill now strutting about like a peacock following his wrist.
There was a lot more ‘industry’ going on in front of the fire and in the shed. For instance my Uncle Alf made all manner of toys and games from old bits of wood and broken chairs – I’ve got the Tommy Gun in the shed now. My father being a trifle more ham fisted produced vegetables by the barrow load and rung the chicken’s neck at Christmas and I came home from Poly Apes on more than one occasion with a rabbit or two. It must have been about 1955 when we actually got a telephone installed - actually in the house! We were no longer isolated – or left alone.
In order to perhaps get more of a ‘feel’ for the early 50’s, surprise, surprise I have written a story. For many years a painting has been hanging on my bedroom wall mostly un-noticed. It was painted by my father, it won’t mean much to anyone who doesn’t know Oxshott but it is of a scene called ‘Ayling’s Corner’. The story will be published in the Autumn edition of Fedora Magazine but you can get a sneak preview HERE.
Wednesday 29th July 2015
If ever I go back and change anything in this blog to save you the trouble of reading it all again I’ll keep you informed. If you did read ‘A Guide to Recruitment Consultancy’ I’ve taken out the last paragraph which sounded a bit pompous, to be brutally honest I copied it from somewhere – not me. Also I’ve discovered that the hydrochloric acid battery I carried on the handle bar of my bike was in fact sulphuric acid. Yesterday, amongst other things, I had another 3 stories, which I also found in my brief case, transposed from a hard copy into a digital copy by a ‘character recognition’ machine/programme - amazing. The stories are more sailing adventures and a touch more pedestrian than ‘ere to (Charlotte Bronte influence!) but there is a reason for including the stories.
You may remember that some of these stories are ‘In Memoriam’ well sadly Ray, owner and skipper of Helga/Bryans Breeze/Tsunami/Kittiwake is no longer with us also jolly Geordie Bill lost a brave battle against cancer. The next three stories will introduce you to Phil, a work colleague, gentleman, inspirational, a perfectionist in all he did and skipper on many a trip, also a lot younger than us old codgers, tragically killed in a helicopter accident along with 10 others coming back from a North Sea oil rig in 2002. Phil and I used to swap stories over the drawing boards/desks in the office at Air Products. One of which was that we were both looking forward to the birth of his first born and my first grandchild; they were both born on the same day. If by any chance you are reading this Rebecca your Dad is not forgotten.
The first story is about Smashey and Nicey appropriate names for Mike’s Wayfarer and my Cornish Cormorant both sailing dinghies we used to trail around the country in search of wind and water. Click HERE for The Norfolk Broads experience.
Friday 31st July 2015
Dear Posterity (nobody reading this according to my Google Analytics) no doubt the hit rate will shoot up after the Poole Harbour experience. Mild erotic scenes from the start click HERE if you dare! Incidentally I have updated the picture of the Sunflowers on July 20th, it is still ‘spot the Bob’ !
Monday 3rd August 2015
Yesterday in this part of the world was a bit of a nightmare, thousands of cyclists descended on the roads all around South London and Surrey causing traffic chaos. I know there are arguments on both sides, like it’s only one day etc. but it’s still chaos for any of us trying to get somewhere. Roads closed, bridges closed etc. etc. I reckon this annual chaos should be shared around the country and not always the leafy lanes of Surrey. So, that’s sorted that. In the middle of all this we had occasion to visit Chiswick for a lunch date, we opted to take the train which worked well except on the return trip there were hundreds of bikers with their bikes blocking the doors and corridors as well, why didn’t they cycle home? Probably too knackered. Back in the mid 50’s we used to cycle to Eastbourne and back in a day - without any Lycra. Only plimsolls, a cape, a couple of gears and a soggy sandwich in your bonk bag.
Witness to an incident on the river just upstream of Chiswick Bridge yesterday which could have turned nasty. A smallish canal boat spotted with smoke issuing from the cabin, obviously drifting and in some distress. A passing large river cruiser, with what seemed to be a small wedding party aboard, spotted the dilemma and did a 180 turn threw a line aboard and tried to tow it backwards against a very strong tide, which I thought was probably the only thing to do in the circumstances. However towing any boat backwards means that the rudder of the towed boat is probably unusable and caused alarming gyrations. Somebody had obviously called the RNLI which, as luck would have it, have a station just downstream of Chiswick Bridge. Within minutes the RNLI rib arrived on scene and managed to attach a line to the bow of the canal boat, all boats now drifting quickly towards Kew Bridge. The line from the cruiser to the stern of the canal boat was let go and the RNLI rib tried to tow the canal boat downstream which meant the line slackened then went taught and snapped and whiplashed back to the RNLI boat, fortunately nobody in the way. Both boats now drifting again. Another line was successfully attached to the bow of the canal boat and this time the RNLI boat towed it very slowly against the tide and disappeared towards Chiswick Bridge. As a boaty person with some experience of this particular stretch of river I would say that all acted pretty well in the circumstances and probably prevented a nasty situation developing but my question to the Captain of the canal boat is ‘Why didn’t you throw out the anchor as soon as you spotted the problem?’ Maybe you did but it wasn't holding. I've had the same problem.
It is unlikely that any of the participants will see this or find it of interest but that goes for the rest of this blog as well – doesn’t it?
Still working on my next and last relatively tame sailing story – I bet you can’t wait!
RNLI just arrived on scene - cruiser towing canal boat backwards against the tide
RNLI about to throw a second line to the drifting canal boat
Tuesday 4th August 2015
Before we leave the boaty scene I’d like to introduce you to ‘Kellar’ she was an Orkney 440 Fishing Boat which I bought brand new and kept at Northney Marina on Hayling Island for a few years. She took us to all parts of Chichester Harbour and across to the Isle of Wight. Also trailed her to Pembrokeshire for a week to explore Milford Haven also the Norfolk Broads all the time trying to catch a fish – no fish! She was named after our Black Labrador who was with us for 14 years – another story!
Kellar with Bob and Marcia escorting Kittiwake in Chichester Harbour
Kellar moored in Milford Haven near the 'Cleddau Box Girder Bridge'
Bill, Bob, Mike and Bob on 'Lambarda' in Split Harbour Croatia. If you missed the hilarious story it's HERE.
Wednesday 5th August 2015
If you didn't notice, the final sailing story is now available above. I expect by now there are loads of you out there making fortunes with APO's, Easyreaders, Handy Sander's, Recruitment businesses etc etc - but I've not heard anything so far. Probably on holiday. In the meantime take a look at Jonesy Bear enjoying his first freshly picked Corn on the Cob - delicious.
Saturday 15th August 2015
Apologies for absence. Survived another holiday which might produce another story. In the meantime harvesting armfuls of sweet corn and erecting scaffolding to measure height of sunflowers.
Tuesday 18th August 2015
Fear not another un-remarkable story is on it's way but first I have to know if Jane is OK after being thwarted at the altar. In the meantime you can check out Caravan No 21 in Branscombe, It's for sale at £28,000! Full details from Mark HERE.
Tuesday Afternoon
Click HERE for 'An Un-Remarkable Journey' to this caravan...........
Friday 21st August 2015
Jane (Eyre) now at her wits end wandering the moors alone with not a shilling to her name, cold, wet, destitute and yet somehow still resolute that she has done the right thing and trusting in providence to light a candle in the darkness.
So, I thought, there’s nothing else to do but to treat her to a ride round the M25, try to lift her spirits, let her see a world of care homes and broken spirits that defy description. Let her hear (English) Jane issuing precise instructions as to the way forward - ‘in 800 yards, keep right, keep right’, ‘take the exit and then take the Motorway’ maybe then she will reflect that her predicament is in fact not so hopeless after all, maybe then she will see that faint glimmer of a candle at Junction 26 maybe even she will feel sorry for all those caught up in the headlong stampede towards Junction 27 and beyond to who knows where. She was, dear Reader, on the back seat with a torn spine and faded pages, bookmarked at page 275 and not wanting to be there, I felt that I should treat her gently, I eased back to 75 and then 65, still too fast, try 55, I sensed her relax, she closed her eyes and hoped the telephone wouldn’t ring.
I rang the bell at ………….Care Home and signed her in, she was unable to comprehend that such a place was allowed to exist. Were these human beings that once had life and now could not lift a spoon to their mouth? Jane wanted desperately to help but knew not how, she mused that those who were unable to see would perhaps enjoy some music or the story from a book and those that couldn’t hear could see the birds or the trees or the sky. Those unable to see or hear could feel the warmth of a pet or a sculpted work of art and those with a troubled mind would find peace. She yearned to be back on her moor with nothing but the wind and the earthy scent for company and an uncertain future, but a future nonetheless. To those about her at this moment there seemed no future, merely death and decay but yet she hoped that their existence had somehow touched others in some way that would spread tranquillity amongst the heather and mist on their moor.
English Jane issued further unerring instructions to Romford, Marcia unaware of the now less troubled mind riding on the back seat.
Sadly another visit to another erstwhile radiant and vibrant couple now reliant on prescribed drugs and constant help from various agencies and a variety of gizmos and gadgets to aid mobility and senses. Jane now for some reason wanted to take me in her arms and forever be mine but mindful of deep relationships forged over many years thought that it was not her place to intervene. A hug was enough for she had now seen that her dire predicament on the moor was in fact an explosion of sunlight, a realisation that there is work to be done and the sure knowledge that somehow; somewhere Mr Rochester would cross her path once more. She released her grip around my neck and begged me to dial Home on the GPS and have (English) Jane whisper her soothing instructions to transport us back to Morton, this time at no less than 85 over the Dartford Crossing.
How could I refuse?
Sunday 23rd August 2015
Yes, I paid my £2.50 Dart Crossing Charge as I assume that those all seeing cameras clocked my number plate, what they didn’t see was Jane lounging in the back with a serene countenance on her face dreaming of the moors and English Jane in the front both now full of hope that we didn’t need to ‘turn around when possible’. Blind, one armed Mr Rochester at the wheel – sorry reins.
You will be pleased to know that you are now one of 88 eager readers of this blog and spend an average of 7 minutes and 24 seconds enjoying these rambles, which, reminds me, if one of those eager readers is you Ron it’s about time we arranged another hike for us energetic codgers, need some more material for the next adventure!
In the meantime I have an admission to make. Some years ago I bought a stick it yourself matchstick model of a 1920’s London Bus for our Grandson, he found it impossible to make and so did I so I found some 3mm thick fibreboard in the shed (everything in my shed) and bought a coping saw and very carefully cut out the parts according to the plan. I then entered it in to the Craft Section of the local Village Show – I won First Prize. On the back of the red ‘First Prize’ sticker the judge had written ‘I am advised that you are under 11 years old’. The bus had rolled along the table into the children’s section – honest!
Tuesday 25th August 2015
Feeling very close to Charlotte Bronte this morning as I have just changed a complete ceiling light fitting without getting an electric shock. How in the name of Edward Rochester is this relevant?
Well, if you look at the end of Chapter XXXV you will hear Jane describing a feeling such as I would have experienced if I had had that electric shock.
‘The one candle was dying out; the room was full of moonlight. My heart beat fast and thick; I heard the throb. Suddenly it stood still to an inexpressible feeling that thrilled it through, and passed at once to my head and extremities. The feeling was not like an electric shock, but it was quite as sharp, as strange, as startling; it acted on my senses as if their utmost activity hitherto had been but torpor, from which they were now summoned and forced to wake. They rose expectant; eye and ear waited while the flesh quivered on my bones.’
Phew!
You will have to read it to find out why she was in such a state but my question is, how the Edward Rochester does she know about an ‘electric shock’ when the first electricity wasn’t piped to Haworth until the late 1800’s? Charlotte must have been very well read – a bit like our Charlotte with ‘Topsy and Tim go on an Aeroplane’!
Thursday 27th August 2015
Despite the tragic and dark events going on on our planet yesterday, a report on prime time BBC news that some ‘top engineer’ had come up with a formula for ‘fast Poohsticks’ must make the rest of the world think we are potty. This ‘top engineer’ came up with the idea that the speed of a Poohstick is a function of density, area and drag of the stick. Surely anyone with common sense knows that the speed of any Poohstick is dependent only on the varying speed of the surface of the river which is dictated by the contours of the bottom of the river – ask any fisherman or oarsman who sculls up and down the river between Putney and Mortlake – or anywhere else for that matter. That’s why Oxford and Cambridge fight for the fast bits and often end up with oars in a tangle. QED.
PS. Any puff of wind will also dictate winners and losers. PPS. For fisherman read fisherperson and oarsman read oarsperson - sorry.
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