Saturday 7th January 2023
Darlington 1944
by Robert Conway Jones
Now I'm eighty four
It's likely I'll fall over
Trip up, knocked down
Probably be all over
If it's not, no TV for me
(Like fireworks unremitting)
It's 'in and round and poke and off'
I think they call it knitting
But before all that, I'm driving
Up to Yorkshire in the Spring
I'd like to have you with me
Fond memories it would bring
We would have twin beds of course
No nonsense in a double
Just you and me and beans on toast
At Reeth, would be no trouble
We could stroll amongst the heather
High, high up on the moor
Used to be three feet of snow
But seems not any more
Driving wind and rain
Poncho horizontal but who cares
With any luck might bump into Jane
Hi, I'm Mr Rochester I need someone upstairs
Then pop along to the Tan Hill Inn
For a pint of local Ale
Watch the flickering flames in the grate
Listening to old wives' tales
Then wander down to Gilling Beck
Another childhood dream
Tickling trout, wriggling about
In the gin clear moorland stream
Harrison Terrace number twenty one
Is also on the list
Gran and Grandad Con' lived there
They're still there in the mist
Grandad took me fishing
In the River Tees
I tried my best but failed the test
He was hard to please
Granny was much more caring
We'd all sit by the hearth
At seven o' clock we'd all line up
To share the old tin bath
Started school at Reid Street
Just across The Dene
Caught scarlet fever just in time
Lessons? Never keen
The isolation ward was tough
The daily scrub much tougher
Right now I feel the scrubbing brush
And then the softer buffer
The soot at Bank Top Station
From the steam trains puffing through
Is something that still lingers
Like drops of morning dew
A trip to the sands at Saltburn
Is definitely a must
My first sight of the sea was there
Remember? Only just
Dodging bombs and bits of tin
Raining from the sky
Jammed in with lots of soldiers
Trying not to cry
Friday 13th January 2023
Elixir of youth?
If you're not feeling great
Then take advice from me
Ditch your medication
And drink pine needle tea
There's plenty up in Oxshott Woods
But make sure that it is pine
And don't forget to pay respects
To the Oxshott Village Sign
Saturday 14th January 2023
Lines and circles
There comes a time in life
When you can't do anymore
Except that what you learnt to do
In nineteen fifty four
I was fifteen years old back then
Finding school a bore
But now I'm glad old Flossie Phillips
'Learned' me how to draw
Only lines and circles
Nuts and bolts and smell
Chisel points and rubbing out
Overtime as well
Never any Arty stuff
Curves and colours few
Printing always had to be your best
Or 'here's a weeks wages in lieu'
Forty years I stuck it
Always wanted to retire
Now I draw with inspiration
From someone I admire
Sunday 22nd January 2023.
Lovely to know you
Nobody takes the slightest bit of notice of this blog
Which makes me really pleased
Because if they did take any notice
I'd be rich and b****y famous and not so b****y squeezed
I couldn't handle all that pressure, I've decided
So thanks for not responding and paying scant attention
I can now get on with dying quietly
Or maybe doing things I dare not mention
Tuesday 24th January 2023
A Following Wind On Your Birthday - for Cherry
The sun is now up over the yard arm
And the sea is as smooth as a baby's ***
So set your sails to a gull wing
And relax and pour us some rum
And then when we're done get up off your ***
And fling on your dress made of cotton
It's your birthday today we'll celebrate all day
Don't tell me you have forgotten
20.23
Saturday 28th January
Twenty Twenty Three
Tidal Energy
Moored up boats and ships
Just think of what they weigh
They go up and down 10 feet or more
Usually twice a day
You can turn that into megawatts
Make lots of cups of tea
If you employ technology
From Gravitricity
Friday 3rd February 2023
You lose some, you lose some
It would seem that my proposal
For dirt cheap tidal power
Will not be implemented
Until after happy hour
Happy hour will never end
As we are all aware
So, it's goodbye my proposal
And goodbye to my hair
Unless of course I meet an angel
With bags of cash to spare
And then you'll be amazed to see
That it ain't at all hot air
Tuesday 7th February 2023
You win some, you win some
While I remain with any name
And allowed to be a dreamer
I can dream about the day
I met the lovely ****
So, if I seem to be asleep all day
I'm only really dozing
Reliving all those magic times
But sadly not proposing
But if I really did propose
(I really can't remember)
I hope you'll all forgive
At least until December
Monday 20th February 2023
Solved
I’ve discovered the reason why my great ideas
Never fly, get torpedoed and sunk
It’s because my emails (all written with care)
Always end up in a file called junk
Friday 24th February 2023
Hi Liz,
You will be pleased to hear
that I've packed up writing (silly?) rhymes
until I can work out
what a cold hot water bottle is.
Lots of love
Bob.
Wednesday 25th January 2023
Pollution Solution
The sucking noise of rolling tyres
In wet or dry conditions
Now drowns out the dogs and birds
Not to mention us musicians
Tyres are now designed to suck
Instead of skid all over
Like they used to do in fifty two
In your Hillman, Ford or Rover
So, if you're driven by combustion (or electric)
Your tyres will still pollute
Unless of course you walk to work
Or travel switched to mute
Tuesday 14th February 2023
Reflections
Today I drew another card
It’s not a valentine
But if you’d like it through your door
It might just mean you're mine
Saturday 25th February 2023
Hi Gina,
I know you’re into flowers and pretty cottage gardens
So why not grow your own from seed from
They come from Darlington so they must be great
They only cost pennies and postage is peanuts
Then you and I could paint them?
I’ve always been a dreamer
Lots of love
Bob
Monday 27th February 2023
Hi Pat,
I'm not sure if you remember
When you were four and I was three
We kissed amongst the runners
Since then I've grown lots of beans
But never found you hiding
Or for that matter any other stunners
Lots of love
Bob
The writer of this blog does realise he has now lost the plot and apologises for any embarrassment caused. However, his remaining brain cell has now enabled him to submit a paper on his revolutionary idea for generating energy from the tidal stream to The Royal Society for publication and peer review. He is not expecting any reaction.