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Saturday 7th January 2023

Darlington 1944

by Robert Conway Jones

Now I'm eighty four

It's likely I'll fall over

Trip up, knocked down

Probably be all over

If it's not, no TV for me

(Like fireworks unremitting)

It's 'in and round and poke and off'

I think they call it knitting

But before all that, I'm driving

Up to Yorkshire in the Spring

I'd like to have you with me

Fond memories it would bring

We would have twin beds of course

No nonsense in a double

Just you and me and beans on toast

At Reeth, would be no trouble

We could stroll amongst the heather

High, high up on the moor

Used to be three feet of snow

But seems not any more

Driving wind and rain 

Poncho horizontal but who cares

With any luck might bump into Jane

Hi, I'm Mr Rochester I need someone upstairs

Then pop along to the Tan Hill Inn

For a pint of local Ale

Watch the flickering flames in the grate

Listening to old wives' tales

Then wander down to Gilling Beck

Another childhood dream

Tickling trout, wriggling about

In the gin clear moorland stream

Harrison Terrace number twenty one

Is also on the list

Gran and Grandad Con' lived there

They're still there in the mist

Grandad took me fishing

In the River Tees

I tried my best but failed the test

He was hard to please

Granny was much more caring

We'd all sit by the hearth

At seven o' clock we'd all line up

To share the old tin bath

Started school at Reid Street

Just across The Dene

Caught scarlet fever just in time

Lessons?  Never keen

The isolation ward was tough

The daily scrub much tougher

Right now I feel the scrubbing brush

And then the softer buffer

The soot at Bank Top Station

From the steam trains puffing through

Is something that still lingers

Like drops of morning dew

A trip to the sands at Saltburn

Is definitely a must

My first sight of the sea was there

Remember?  Only just

Dodging bombs and bits of tin

Raining from the sky

Jammed in with lots of soldiers 

Trying not to cry

Friday 13th January 2023

Elixir of youth?

If you're not feeling great

Then take advice from me

Ditch your medication 

And drink pine needle tea

There's plenty up in Oxshott Woods

But make sure that it is pine

And don't forget to pay respects

To the Oxshott Village Sign 

Saturday 14th January 2023

Lines and circles

There comes a time in life

When you can't do anymore

Except that what you learnt to do

In nineteen fifty four

I was fifteen years old back then

Finding school a bore

But now I'm glad old Flossie Phillips

'Learned' me how to draw

Only lines and circles

Nuts and bolts and smell

Chisel points and rubbing out

Overtime as well

Never any Arty stuff

Curves and colours few

Printing always had to be your best

Or 'here's a weeks wages in lieu'

Forty years I stuck it

Always wanted to retire

Now I draw with inspiration

From someone I admire

Sunday 22nd January 2023.

Lovely to know you


Nobody takes the slightest bit of notice of this blog

Which makes me really pleased

Because if they did take any notice 

I'd be rich and b****y famous and not so b****y squeezed


I couldn't handle all that pressure, I've decided

So thanks for not responding and paying scant attention

I can now get on with dying quietly

Or maybe doing things I dare not mention

Tuesday 24th January 2023

A Following Wind On Your Birthday - for Cherry

The sun is now up over the yard arm

And the sea is as smooth as a baby's ***

So set your sails to a gull wing

And relax and pour us some rum

And then when we're done get up off your ***

And fling on your dress made of cotton

It's your birthday today we'll celebrate all day

Don't tell me you have forgotten


Saturday 28th January

Twenty Twenty Three​

Tidal Energy

Moored up boats and ships

Just think of what they weigh

They go up and down 10 feet or more

Usually twice a day

You can turn that into megawatts

Make lots of cups of tea

If you employ technology

From Gravitricity

Friday 3rd February 2023

You lose some, you lose some

It would seem that my proposal

For dirt cheap tidal power

Will not be implemented

Until after happy hour

Happy hour will never end

As we are all aware

So, it's goodbye my proposal

And goodbye to my hair

Unless of course I meet an angel

With bags of cash to spare

And then you'll be amazed to see

That it ain't at all hot air

Tuesday 7th February 2023

You win some, you win some

While I remain with any name

And allowed to be a dreamer

I can dream about the day

I met the lovely ****

So, if I seem to be asleep all day

I'm only really dozing

Reliving all those magic times

But sadly not proposing

But if I really did propose

(I really can't remember)

I hope you'll all forgive

At least until December


Monday 20th February 2023


I’ve discovered the reason why my great ideas

Never fly, get torpedoed and sunk

It’s because my emails (all written with care)

Always end up in a file called junk

Friday 24th February 2023

Hi Liz,

You will be pleased to hear

that I've packed up writing (silly?) rhymes

until I can work out

what a cold hot water bottle is. 

Lots of love


Wednesday 25th January 2023

Pollution Solution

The sucking noise of rolling tyres

In wet or dry conditions

Now drowns out the dogs and birds

Not to mention us musicians

Tyres are now designed to suck

Instead of skid all over

Like they used to do in fifty two

In your Hillman, Ford or Rover

So, if you're driven by combustion (or electric)

Your tyres will still pollute

Unless of course you walk to work

Or travel switched to mute

Tuesday 14th February 2023


Today I drew another card

It’s not a valentine

But if you’d like it through your door

It might just mean you're mine

Saturday 25th February 2023

Hi Gina,

I know you’re into flowers and pretty cottage gardens

So why not grow your own from seed from

They come from Darlington so they must be great

They only cost pennies and postage is peanuts

Then you and I could paint them?

I’ve always been a dreamer

Lots of love


Monday 27th February 2023

Hi Pat,

I'm not sure if you remember

When you were four and I was three

We kissed amongst the runners

Since then I've grown lots of beans

But never found you hiding

Or for that matter any other stunners

Lots of love


The writer of this blog does realise he has now lost the plot and apologises for any embarrassment caused.  However, his remaining brain cell has now enabled him to submit a paper on his revolutionary idea for generating energy from the tidal stream to The Royal Society for publication and peer review.  He is not expecting any reaction.

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