Bob's Blog Page 46
You are reading Page 46 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 85 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!
Saturday 1st June 2024.
There's always hope. Old Bob had a conducted tour round a care home for old and incapable codgers yesterday, just in case. He was told that pets are allowed provided that you can get them in the lift. That must include Badgers. Result!
By now enthusiastic readers of this inspiring blogette must realise that the writer has fully recovered from his ailments, including his taste buds. He visits his young lady in Epsom Hospital every day to check if she's eaten all her dinner and pudding. She also is improving slowly but surely and will be home before you can say Jack Robinson. You'll have to check Wikipedia to find out who Jack Robinson was.
Sunday 2nd June 2024.
Old Bob is thinking of buying a bike! Not any old bike. A 1953 Hercules Kestrel no less! He saved up his paper round money in 1953 which was two bob a week and half a crown if you did Sundays. He delivered around Oxshott in all weathers with short trousers! In 1955 he cycled to Eastbourne and back in a day, a round trip of 150 miles. Just a cape, plimsoles and tomato sandwiches, no Lycra!
Hi Alex,
I bought a Hercules Kestrel brand new in 1953, loved it, it is now in the knackers yard - unfortunately.
I note with interest/amazement your Hercules Kestrel with an original saddle.
What's the best price for an eighty five year old codger?
Would you mind me using your attached pic' on my blog?
Best of luck,
Bob.
Hercules Kestrel Club 531 (1953) 53cm - Dead Rats Cycles
Monday 3rd June 2024.
Another adventure with the wheelchair yesterday for the old couple around Epsom Hospital didn't disappoint. They enjoyed the warm sunny spots watching the ducks and pigeons while the world rushed by. The old man's online search for a cheap stair lift got nowhere so he's decided to make one, it will be powered by Horizontal Gravity, he is looking for test pilots!
Tuesday 4th June 2024.
Welcome back old and young readers. The old man sat in on the old lady's Physio and Occupational Therapy session yesterday. He learnt how to switch the kettle on, exhausting. Not funny.
Not heard from Alex yet, or anybody else for that matter, didn't win the lottery or a Premium Bond prize either but there's always hope. Isn't there?
He's hoping his woollen bathers won't fall down!
Wednesday 5th June 2024.
The outcome of 'The Goal' meeting was 'get the young lady home toute de suite' (that means yesterday) . A full assessment of her needs at home was made by Sally. She recommended hospital bed downstairs, commode on wheels, Sara Stedy, grab rails, threshold ramps, kitchen stool, tripod walking stick, 4 carer visits a day and maybe even a stair lift. All arriving tomorrow. The old man surveyed the local old persons community facilities which included a wet room capable of dealing with a football team, complete with hoist, changing mat for old people, lunches, flower arranging, knitting, weight lifting, yoga and chair dancing (whatever that means).
And maybe even a coach trip to Ibiza! The bind moggles!
The chairs and tables are for the lunches!
Thursday 6th June 2024.
Eighty years ago today I was blissfully unaware of what was going on in Normandy but today 'we will remember them'.
Friday 7th June 2024.
Because there is nobody around to tell the old codger what to do, what to wear and what to eat he had cereal AND porridge for breakfast this morning instead of cereal OR porridge. It's called freedom of choice. Who knows what the old codger will get up to next? Who cares?
You will be pleased to hear that The Royal Society did respond to the old codger's submission for a revolutionary source of Renewable Energy. The Royal Society are the oldest and most prestigious body of scientists on the planet if you didn't know. They didn't understand it either but replied 'We wish you success in your future work'.
His future work includes devising a method for standing, for extended periods, on one leg while putting your socks on. Easy!
Saturday 8th June 2024.
A canvasser for a local candidate for the General Election knocked on old Bob's door yesterday, 'have you got a minute' he said, after half an hour on the doorstep he was really pleased to get away with a leaflet telling him all about 'The Oxshott Village Sign'.
Well he would wouldn't he?
Sunday 9th June 2024.
In case you had forgotten Sunday is a day of rest especially if it's sunny so instead of doing the washing old Bob washed his Petunias.
Monday 10th June 2024.
What happened to global warming? No sign of it in my back garden.
'Hiding your light under a bushel' might well be a phrase that could be applied to old Bob's cooking abilities. Left alone in the kitchen he always knew that he had the magic touch. It will now be tested as his young lady, when she comes home from hospital today, will be unable to cook with one hand out of action, unless, of course, the Angels have different ideas. 'Hi, is that Pizza Express'? .
Tuesday 11th June 2024.
Two thing happened yesterday and two didn't. Old Bob found renewed energy for his renewable energy project and he also had another Covid Jab. He didn't have a reaction and his young lady didn't get her discharge papers so watch this space.
Wednesday 12th June 2024.
It's Happy Birthday to Dan today.
50 years ago seems like yesterday.
- Bob -
Thursday 13th June 2024.
The homecoming was full of incident. The hospital transport provided was (even according to the crew) without adequate suspension so any vulnerable patient would be very uncomfortable at best or shaken to death at the worst. The hospital team in charge were not at all happy at our special Angels suggestion that our vulnerable patient would be best transported home in her comfy limousine. The hospital team cracked under pressure, agreed if their responsibility was removed and our vulnerable patient was whisked away in her wheelchair by her old but very capable codger.
The effect of the outside world on our vulnerable patient was palpable after 8 weeks in hospital. The sight of children, dogs, irate drivers and red lights were consumed with glee. Perhaps the most uplifting sight was her old codgers colourful array of geraniums and petunias arranged with precision on the patio.
Despite her situation she lost no time in issuing orders for change.
Friday 14th June 2024.
Surrounded by disability aids and carers in and out morning, noon and night is a new experience for a couple of old swingers but there are many worse off - apparently. At least it's summer time - apparently. And things will get better - apparently. And the Moon will continue to deliver Horizontal Gravity - apparently. Whoops, that should read Horizontal Gravity - apparently!
Saturday 15th June 2024.
No time for blogging
Only time for caring
Doing one's best
But always found wanting
Sunday 16th June 2024. (Father's Day).
Blogging about how bloody amazing you are is not something that comes easily to some old bloggers but changing nappies at 6am before cooking an 'amazing' breakfast and transporting old ladies to and fro' on Sara Stedy's on Fathers Day is perhaps worthy of a mention. The reward was the slightest movement of a previously dead leg, about four and a half millimeters to be precise. A dead leg in the offshore oil rig business is a section of pipe stuffed with dead fish. Result?
Monday 17th June 2024.
Prediction.
This old blogger is beginning to think that his 'ingenious' idea for tidal energy is indeed 'ingenious' because he has had zero response from the academic community (and anybody else for that matter). He concludes that the reason it is ignored is because it will (if developed) eclipse all other forms of renewable energy. This will mean that all current renewable energy projects are a complete waste of time, effort and money and will put 'the big boys' out of business. Which is the only reason it is being ignored. A bit like water powered internal combustion engines really?
PS A battery powered door bell would be a great idea for the incapacitated to press when requiring assistance.
Tuesday 18th June 2024.
This is a sad story about Jimmy and Jenny. They both suffered trauma at a very young age and were taken into care by The Church of England Children's Society at Cheam in the late 50's. They were cared for in their early days by Nurse Beesley. They were adopted and went on to lead very troubled lives. Nurse Beesley always wondered what happened to them. She was able to track down Jimmy but sadly he had died 6 months before she discovered his whereabouts in 2016. She tracked down Jenny and was able to swop a few memories with her. Today is Jenny's funeral but sadly Nurse Beesley is unable to attend but would like Jenny to be remembered. Rest in peace Jenny.
Jimmy and Jenny with Nurse Beesley
Wednesday 19th June 2024.
Are you getting extremely cheesed off with endless emails, leaflets and offers to fit Solar Panels?
Don't they realise that :-
#The sun ain't gonna shine anymore
#The moon ain't gonna rise in the sky (bugger)
#The tears are always clouding your eyes
#When you're without love
#Baby
Thursday 20th June 2024.
I expect you are wondering how the old couple are getting on now the old lady is home. Well, the old man has reverted to the firemen's lift for transporting the old lady backwards and forwards to the toilet, dining table, bathroom, bedroom and lounge. The reason is that the equipment supplied for transporting old ladies with disabilities is a mixture of pogo sticks on marbles and mini wheels and shopping trolleys made out of 50mm diameter carbon steel pipe which weigh a ton and not a hope in hell of negotiating tight corners.
There is a developing conflict between the 'caring' team and the old man as to health and safety. When the old lady needs to 'go' there is no time for safety belts, braces, brakes on, brakes off, flaps 15, full throttle, brakes off, brakes on, knickers down and relax. So, in order to speed things up it's the firemen's lift.
But it ain't in the 'carers' book of instructions so watch this space.
Friday 21st June 2024. (Summer Solstice already, where does it go?).
Chief Carer Angelica from Russia wasn't happy with the way the old man was defying rules and regulations but if he wants to put his back or shoulders out and tip the old lady head first into the toilet that's up to him. She marched off in a huff with Carer Fran from Ukraine determined to inform the authorities. The old man thought he would celebrate with a dressed crab from Jimmy the Fish.
Jobs for the day (as well as the cooking, cleaning, washing up, running hither and thither and watering the plants) included laying a poisoned bait box for the rats spotted recently hoovering up the bird seed. Beware. The old lady sat in the sunshine in her wheelchair directing operations and snoozing complete with new bell push hanging by a ribbon round her neck. The old man had the bell hanging round his neck.
PS Rat bait boxes are cheap and easy to install. Check them out HERE. So are cordless door/help me quick I need to go bells!
Seen hanging around Oxshott Woods recently!
Saturday 22nd June 2024.
Avid readers of this disjointed blog (if were were any) will know that the above picture was also posted on page 38 so what does that tell you? Today's task for the old codger is to wash up with one hand as he's been told not to get his left hand wet. Either that or buy a dish washer. Also to dream up new methods of mobility for disabled old ladies.
Sunday 23rd June 2024.
#Summertime, and the livin' is easy
#Fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high
#Oh, your daddy's rich and your ma is good-lookin'
#So hush little baby, don't you cry
Sunrise at Eastbourne
See you there?
Monday 24th June 2024.
Wish you were here. Wish I was there. Wish we were there. Wish we were here. Wish I was here! Wishes are (according to The Cambridge Dictionary) 'used with the past simple to express that you feel sorry or sad about a situation that exists at the moment'. But change can always happen leading to Nirvana. Nirvana (according to The Cambridge Dictionary) is 'a state of freedom from all suffering that Buddhists believe can be achieved by removing all personal wishes'. Easier said than done?
Tuesday 25th June 2024.
Too philosophical? Bob's porridge is to die for, mixed up with manuka honey, raisins, vitamins, supplements, tea and orange juice is just the ticket to give him strength to transport his disabled young lady in and out of every room a hundred times a day. The transporter is interesting, it's called a Molift. It will go round right angled corners at 30 mph but you are likely to end up in the geraniums if you're not an experienced driver. There is a safety belt but usually no time for the safety belt. They cost £500 and are issued free from the NHS. Great for scooting around Waitrose!
Wednesday 26th June 2024.
Somebody is thinking seriously about two old codgers checking into a Care Home 'toute de suite', not any old care home but one within Molift distance of The Running Mare. Great idea?
Thursday 27th June 2024.
Not a very good idea, in fact a bloody ridiculous idea, who wants to be locked away with a bunch of old fuddy duddies? What was that?
Friday 28th June 2024.
It would appear to this old 'fuddy duddy' that every one of us old 'fuddy duddies' could have a good chance of becoming President of The United States judging by last nights debate. No wonder Putin is looking so smug. Enough of politics. Your favourite blogger, chief carer, cook and bottle washer would like to thank you for reading this amazing narrative, who knows where it's going? It could be another visit to Denbies Vinyard for another glass of wine?
Saturday 29th 2024.
The old lady is full of hope and determination to bring life back into the left leg and left arm the old man is full of IATDS (Intense Attention To Detail Syndrome) in order to fill in a form for AA (Attendance Allowance). How many times a day do you need help when performing daily tasks? Who helps you? Why?
Sunday 30th June 2024.
Your favourite blogger has decided he has spent too much time blogging and not enough time looking after his young lady, dusting, cleaning, washing, cooking, mending, gardening, shopping and brainstorming.
Light bulb moment. He might take on two or three young ladies to look after!
Page 47 can be found HERE.
Bob's Blog Page 46
You are reading Page 46 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 85 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!