Bob's Blog Page 49
You are reading Page 49 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 85 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!
Thursday 1st August 2024.
Dear Reader,
If you were diagnosed with 'an aggressive' cancer of the parotid gland (that's around your left ear, under your left jaw and into your throat) last October, underwent a 3½ hour operation to remove it last January then had 20 sessions of radio therapy, went through hell with the after effects (all blogged about!) and yesterday you were pronounced cancer free and discharged would you feel over the moon? Or would you feel over the moon?
Old Bob feels over the moon so thanks to all at Royal Surrey County Hospital and also to all his Angels out there. They know who they are. If his Angels have got any energy left perhaps they would direct it to his Young Lady's left arm and left leg which are pretty much useless following a stroke, a bit like her Old Man really! But he tries!
He celebrated with a decaf tea and a rich tea biscuit of course.
Loads a lovely days,
Bob.
PS Back to work! The potential of Horizontal Gravity cannot be overstated.
Friday 2nd August 2024.
Old Young Bob is feeling so pleased with himself he thought you might like to see his petunias, stinky amazing don't you think? There are a few geraniums and a couple of rogue tomatoes in there as well, just shows what a touch of TLC can do. He has also devised a stinky amazing piece of kit to help his young lady walk again but it's on the secret list at the moment. A bit like his source of inspiration Hartley!
Not sure what these yellow jobs are.
Saturday 3rd August 2024.
On Saturday 3rd August 1964, sixty s****y years ago can you remember where you were? Young Bob can, he was on his way to The Castle Ballroom, Richmond in his split screen Morris Minor convertible to cruise, smooch and boogie the night away. Tonight he will be doing the same thing. Would you like to dance? Do you come here often? Would you like a Babycham? Where do you live? May I take you home? What are you doing tomorrow? Are you in the habit of dating 85 year olds?
You'll forgive Old Bob for dreaming. He dreams a lot. He popped into Waitrose yesterday to get some frozen Chunky Breaded Haddock Fish Fingers and McCain's Frozen Chunky Chips, came home, popped them in the oven thinking wow! They really are chunky chips, they turned out to be parsnips!
Not to be trusted. Another couple of s****y amazing creations from Maddie and Phoebe.
Sunday 4th August 2024.
Needless to say Old Bob's dream remains a dream.
He's getting a bit fed up with walking around in wrinkly shirts and wrinkly pyjamas so if there is anybody out there to do a bit of ironing please let him know. He doesn't 'do' ironing, never has. He'll do you a perfectly poached egg in return! Deal?
You can't ignore the Olympics can you? Can you? Respect to all those who are hell bent on winning. A glance in the mirror is all you need to tell you that your 'winning' days are over. Maybe train for a gold medal in ironing?
Today Young Bob will be hiking the coast path with his mates from Studland Bay through Swanage and on to Kimmeridge. But that could be another dream! Back then there were six and now there are two!
Bob Ron RIP Pete RIP John RIP (Ray RIP and Den off camera)
Monday 5th August 2024.
The story of the hike can be find HERE, s****y hilarious. The participants were Bob, Ron, Pete, John, Ray and Den. Sadly Ron, Pete, John and Ray have now 'passed on'. Bob and Den can be found reminiscing in The Running Mare on occasions. Bob can be found in The Bear dreaming, on occasions!
The above pic' was taken with Corfe Castle in the background on another equally s****y hilarious hike.
Ron RIP Den Bob John RIP
This is yet another hike from West Wittering with Ron, Den, Bob and John. If you really want to read about the difficulties overcome click HERE.
There were many other challenging and side splitting adventures in and around The New Forest area but no record.
Fortunately?
Tuesday 6th August 2024.
It's all very well to reminisce, dream and get distracted by memories of those who are no longer with us, better to concentrate on those who are still here don't you think? Young Bob expects you are wondering what his amazing piece of kit he's come up with is to help his young lady to walk again. Hopefully to walktowork!
She only has one leg and one arm that works remember so to practice walking she needs a rail for support, right? If you look at your settee it will probably have a padded back which is exactly the right height. So, pull your settee away from the wall and bingo you have a practice walkway for your patient. Another stinky brilliant solution.
Young Bob has also applied for a Home Improvement Grant which might help to pay for his home lift but jumping all the hurdles and negotiating the loops is a pain in the ****. Deserves another cup of tea and a rich tea biscuit at Nymans don't you think Hartley? Don't answer that.
'You are a big tree, your roots go down deep into the ground giving you inner stability'. 'Anticipate happiness and happiness is yours, anticipate success and success is yours'.
The above quotes are from a 'Guided Meditation Talk' from Old Bob's Hypnotherapist, thoroughly recommended.
The Angel Patrick payed another visit yesterday so perhaps it's him that has spread 'inner peace and tranquillity'. Who knows? Who cares? Sweet dreams.
Wednesday 7th August 2024.
If you would like a copy of Old Bob's 'Guided Meditation' by his favourite Hypnotherapist he'll send you one free of charge. It's around 20 minutes of relaxation guaranteed to send you into places you've never been before.
Yesterday Young Bob discovered that his laptop can read all this stuff out loud in a million different accents and languages, he expects all you young techy's out there already knew that but he's found a new hobby. Listening to his own blog! He prefers Microsoft Hazel!
Thursday 8th August 2024.
A long chat with Microsoft Monica from Elmbridge Locality Team yesterday (these are the team who assess what you need to help old ladies who are unable to do things) resulted in some really interesting solutions but Old Bob can't remember what they were. Turning the downstairs into one large wet room was one he thinks. He quite fancies the idea of sailing his dinghy from one room to another. Or even turning the kitchen into a test tank for his Horizontal Gravity idea. The possibilities are endless. Yesterday one of his Angels turned up with delicious raspberries and cherries from Kent, she also whipped round with the duster, hoover, mop and bucket so that only leaves the washing, ironing, dishes, cooking and gardening. Phew! Better get it all done before the heatwave sets in don't you think? Or before senility sets in?
Friday 9th August 2024.
Thanks to Moogi from Mongolia for getting Old Bob's young lady ready for bed last night, she also did the washing up and the ironing. She's not allowed to drive the Molift so Old Bob needs to be on hand to act as chauffeur. He only had 34 callouts yesterday!
Today, he's off to Epsom Hospital again for a painful procedure but he'll keep that to himself. Better to dream?
Saturday 10th August 2024.
The Angel Angie in the Urology Department at Epsom put Old Bob's mind at rest and kept him chatting about his Parotidectomy and sailing experiences in order to take his mind off what was happening. Dr Ben dexterously performed his task with his flexible cystoscopy and pronounced Old Bob free of problems and free to go. Which he did toute de suite. Another box ticked. Another 'Guided Meditation' on his lounger left him comatose, or was it the Guinness!
Back in the early 70's Young Bob built a single story extension single handed. He drew the plans, dug the footings, mixed the cement (with a shovel), built the walls, fitted a suspended floor and roof joists, fitted doors and windows, did the plumbing and electrics. Old Bert did the plastering.
He now has decided to build a first floor extension on top for another bedroom and an all singing all dancing bathroom for the disabled. Single handed? He will be sharpening his pencil to draw the plans first, or maybe the paint brushes!
If you fancy a stress free walk around Surrey head over to Fancy Free Walks. They tell you exactly where to put your feet (or zimmer!). Through the hedge. Around the duck pond. Skirt the cowpat. Over the rickety bridge. Underneath the arches. Old Bob will pick you up in his Morris Minor, sorry, his Duster and take you if you like. Includes a picnic lunch and a Babycham! Or was it a rum and black? Well it was 60 years ago!
Sunday 11th August 2024.
Japanese restaurant with 'Banksy' opened in Cobham recently. Used to be Wings Garden Chinese back in the day.
Looking back through this blog regular readers (you and me) might think that Old Bob is obsessed by alcohol. Not so, he visited a Gin distillery today at Papercourt Lake near Ripley and decided to have a flat white coffee instead of the many desirable aromatic Gins beckoning. It's well worth a visit regardless, one seat available for the next trip! Great for fishing or plein air. Tranquillity in abundance. He is considering joining the sailing club as well! Ready about?
Monday 12th August 2024.
If you're not out and about shooting grouse today perhaps you would send Old Bob a message as to how good you think his blog is. Very stinky good? Reasonably stinky good? Not very stinky good? Or just plain stinky?
You can click HERE to respond. You will be entered into a prize draw for a visit to Papercourt Lake. Stinky lovely.
Tuesday 13th August 2024.
Phew! Did you manage to keep cool last night? Hottest day and night of the year in Old Bob's back garden yesterday but the Ale was quite cool in The Running Mare and the fish pie was great, thanks Tim. Again. Meanwhile Old Bob's one winged bird was out and about in her wheelchair. Not much fun in a wheelchair but she doesn't complain. No options - at the moment. The Angel Patrick paid another visit yesterday with his cranio sacral therapy. She has great faith in The Angel Patrick so lets hope he lives up to expectations before Old Bob runs out of cash.
Old Bob is still dreaming about sticking on another bedroom and bathroom. He's even started to draw up the plans for building reg's. Keeps him out of mischief!
He's actually thinking of building it himself! Stinky ridiculous?
Wednesday 14th August 2024.
The above is, of course, a lost 'artform' but Old Bob no longer has AutoCAD or any other all singing all dancing CAD programme, only a pencil and a rubber. He does engage 'Paint' on occasions but only when he feels lonely! Anyway, he's already ditched the idea of adding another storey, he's had a much better idea.
Around the mid 70's (after he'd built the extension) he built a brick built garage (again single handed) which you can also see from space if you know where to look. He used half of it for his drawing board for some years. He's now decided to convert it in to a wet room, shower room, bath and toilet room all cosily insulated with snug as a bug in a rug sheeps wool insulation. He has thought about drainage so no worries. Next doors fish pond! Wot's not to like?
Thursday 15th August 2024.
Following in depth consultations with himself and others it has become clear that despite Old Bob's enthusiasm for all his crazy schemes involving DIY, nothing is going to happen. Why not? Because he'd forgotten he was eighty stinky five and he has responsibilities way beyond his capabilities.
He also feels responsible for saving the planet with his Horizontal Gravity scheme but nothing is going to happen there either. Why not? Because he'd forgotten he was eighty stinky five and nobody reads his emails. Well, perhaps they do but because he is eighty stinky five they have written him off.
Don't forget it's The Eastbourne International Air Show starting today, wish we were there. If you click on the link you will see a stinky great Ferris wheel which blocks the view from The Lansdowne. Last time he was there Old Bob studied in detail the drive mechanism, it's friction drive, he uses the same idea for his Horizontal Gravity machine. Easy stinky peasy!
If you are cheesed off with midnight scrolling Page 50 is now available - for the curious and lovely 85 plus year olds!
Bob's Blog Page 49
You are reading Page 49 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 85 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!