Bob's Blog Page 50
You are reading Page 50 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 85 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!
Friday 16th August 2024.
Inspiration is coming from somewhere, probably from Old Bob's Favourite Angels, any which way despite previous protestations and his advanced decay Old Bob is continuing to solve problems for his One Winged Bird. She doesn't know it yet but she will soon have a 'luxury', not a walk-in shower, but a wheelchair in shower.
The Old Codger is secretly converting the back of his garage into a wet room. At the moment it's a stinky old fusty and dusty space but he's found on old chemical camping toilet, camping ground sheet, a couple of pulley blocks and plenty of rope for a winch. He is also planning, not a walk-in bath, but a drop in bath. Hot water will be delivered by the hose pipe, hooked up to the hot tap and drainage will be via a paddling pool pump into the existing drains. Heating is via a sixty year old Dimplex oil filled radiator or a 70 year old paraffin heater - stinky? He's even found some 85 year old bathroom scales!
Saturday 17th August 2024.
The above project sounds a bit stinky at the moment but Old Bob sees it as another creation demanding the utmost skill and concentration, a bit like a Leonardo really! He will attempt to keep you posted as to development.
In the meantime he will tell you about another secret distraction, he spends £1 every now and again on Thunderball hoping to win £500,000. You probably know it? If you get 5 numbers out of 39 and one number out of 14 right you win half a million. Sounds a doddle? Rarely anybody wins.
Tonight Old Bob's numbers are 4, 7, 12, 14, 37 and 6 so if he wins he will treat his favourite reader to a fish pie at The Skimmington Castle. Don't worry, if you play the same numbers we both get £500,000.
Sunday 18th August 2024.
Well, at least we got one right but no prizes and as predicted nobody won. The winning numbers were 3,10,12,18,24 and 13, how bothersome!
Breaking news. Bob's young ladies' Angels are working. She has wriggled her left toes, left ankle, waved her left leg about and hobbled a few yards with help so, does that mean a stair lift won't be needed? We'll have to wait and see.
Meanwhile Old Bob is thinking of making a YouTube video of his latest discovery which would make him richer than Mister Beast.
Insulation is big business, right? So, if you buy your cosy, snug as a bug in a rug Sheeps Wool in a roll from Thernafleece you will probably want to know how to install it, right? Conventional Building Regulations will tell you to lay it between joists or pack out your wall with stinky great timber framing, right? Also, a vapour barrier, right? Inside for winter, outside for summer, right? Expensive, right?
Forget it. Buy some double sided super strong stinky (sorry sticky) tape and stick your light as a feather, cosy, snug as a bug in a rug Sheeps Wool to your ceiling or walls, job done. You won't be able to hang your pictures on it but you can hang them on your internal walls or a hinged, free standing privacy screen, right?
So, if you've got solid walls with no cavity like wot Old Bob has, job done, right? Enough!
Sample brick sized block of Thermofleece
stuck with double sided tape.
Monday 19th August 2024.
There's something very satisfying about chucking stuff out don't you think? It can also trigger the end of an era, the end of an interest or even the end of capability or maybe even the end of life. Old Bob has decided he is now incapable of anything, except maybe blogging, birthday cards and caring (BBC). He's off to the Community Recycle Centre (dump) today with a boot load of stuff that represents a lifetime of failing. Exhilarating! Uplifting? The brick truck was also returned to it's rightful owner yesterday, if it wasn't for the brick truck?
Tuesday 20th August 2024.
Living with a dead leg, a dead arm and a half dead Old Man can't be easy but yesterday Old Bob's young lady bravely managed another trip to The Physio at Epsom which resulted in a few more hobbles and wriggles. Followed by another visit from The Angel Patrick with his Cranio Sacral Therapy. Old Bob's therapy was a successful visit to the dump followed by the purchase of a Skyhook for disabled young ladies. It wraps around the top of your car door when the window is down and will assist you transfer into your motor. Old Bob has given it his seal of approval and will demo' it for a cup of tea and a rich tea biscuit! Available from The Ability Store Bookham.
Young (he feels young again) Bob actually had a reply from The Managing Director of The European Marine Energy Centre yesterday about his inevitable Horizontal Gravity idea, he said 'persistence' is needed but we can't help, we only test.
Young Bob also had a reply from the Technical Consultant to Thermofleece Cosy, Snug as a Bug in a Rug Sheeps Wool Insulation Company up in The Lake District. He said 'we are always pleased when prospective users of our products experiment with different methods of application'. Different? Watch this space!
Wednesday 21st August 2024.
Well, it seems obvious to Old Bob that sticking your insulation to your ceiling using double sided stinky tape is the way to go but whether or not it will catch on we will have to wait and see. We'll have to wait and see if Horizontal Gravity will catch on as well - yawn!
Old Bob was quite pleased yesterday when a passer by passed by 'The Oxshott Village Sign' and called it 'The Oxshott Coat of Arms', worth waiting for?
Thursday 22nd August 2024.
Staying focused when the telescope doesn't worketh very well is not easy.
The journey through yesterday was without incident - not.
One's ability to perform tirelessly and endlessly without criticism was completed without criticism - not.
No quarter given.
No time for contemplation.
No time to sleep.
No time to dream.
Just shopping, washing, dishing, cleaning, gardening, collecting, transporting, cooking, pegging and hanging.
Such is the lot of a super fit and lucky Old Codger - not.
Friday 23rd August 2024.
Young Bob was dancing around yesterday, not with his young lady or any other young lady (unfortunately!), but on eBay when up pops this message -
Pardon our interruption...
As you were browsing eBay, something about your browser made us think you were a bot. There are a few reasons this might happen:
You're a power user moving through this website with super-human speed.
End of story.
Another visit to the dump yesterday was completed at super-human speed. Driving a Molift at super-human speed is exhilarating but perhaps not for the passenger! Except some passengers need to go faster than super-human speed, on occasions!
Saturday 24th August 2024.
If you are planning an outdoor event today then Young Bob feels sorry for you. In his back garden it's grey, it's wet, it's cold. it's windless. If it makes you feel any better there was a time when it was 40 degrees C in the shade. Remember Simon the sensible Squirrel, Who likes to eat in the shade?
The effect of a wet Saturday afternoon can be mitigated with a dose of Charley Pride on your HMV turntable and a smooooth Guinness. A dancing partner would be icing on the cake! Especially for you.
Sunday 25th August 2024.
Old Bob (he feels stinky old again) expects you are wondering how his one winged bird is getting on. In a nutshell, not a lot of improvement, despite all the Angels hovering around. She is still coping bravely with a useless left hand, a useless left leg and a useless (most of the time) Primary Carer. She doesn't know it yet but her Primary Carer has ordered 8 shower curtains from IKEA at £1.75 a pop to line his converted garage. The shower rail will be string through picture hanging hooks. He has also splashed out on some vinyl flooring from Carpet Warehouse but the sheep's wool insulation has gone out of the window. Ridiculous idea! He's thinking of installing a log burner but might get complaints from the neighbours so it'll probably be Solar Heating?
There might be some news about Horizontal Gravity soon but don't hold your breath.
Monday 26th August 2024.
The idea of a solar heated water system is worth investigation don't you think? Electricity from Solar Photo Voltaic Cells to boil your kettle and charge your phone etc sounds a touch complicated and expensive but a simple solar water heater panel or mat to heat your 40-litre camping shower sounds just the ticket don't you think? You can get the lot on eBay for less than £50. You can get Sunlight on eBay as well, you'll need it in the shower. Sunlight Soap, remember?
Thanks for reading and have a lovely day out in the plein air. Or is it goodnight? Love and hugs, Bob.
Wednesday 28th August 2024.
Sorry about the break in transmission, Old Bob considered packing up blogging but after nearly ten years he's decided it's more therapeutic that a decaf and a rich tea biscuit. Anyhow, he thought you might be interested in the above phenomena. It's a backwash of high cirrus pierced by an airliner at the same height which to old Bob, being an airliner enthusiast is fascinating. It takes allsorts! He thought about sending it to Weather Watchers but didn't. The 'phenomena' is directly above his garage which received it's first couple of shower curtains from IKEA yesterday. Only 6 to go! It will also be receiving a camping shower from MIllets in Dorking when he gets a window of opportunity. Perhaps you might like to join him? Might stop off for a touch of reminiscing at The Stepping Stones, what do you say?
Taken with a Brownie 127 60 years ago.
Seems like yesterday!
Young Bob (he feels young again) has still got the Brownie 127 but ..............
He thought you might like to see a picture of his garage of which he is quite proud. You remember he built it single handed in the mid '70's. It sports a sunburst design on the doors, a basket of Petunias, the prototype Oxshott Village Sign plaques, two windows from a skip, a Weather Cock and a wheelchair ramp in the foreground. Inside you will be greeted with a very organised tool store and a myriad of amazing inventions. The rear wing, which used to be his drawing office, will soon be a shower room or maybe a mancave or more likely an Old Codgers Cave! Hosepipe full of hot water waiting in the wings.
Thursday 29th August 2024.
All 8 shower curtains were hung successfully yesterday and the first visitor was (believe it or not) a one winged bird looking sorry for itself. It was a pigeon which obviously had had a stroke, lost it's flying ability and looking for a touch of TLC. She (could have been a he) even wandered into the kitchen without a by your leave. Obviously heard of Old Bob's caring abilities via pigeon post but sadly Old Bob had his hands full dealing with his own one winged bird.
He's not sure how long he can keep it up but his abilities are fast becoming disabilities. Constructive comments welcome.
Rebecca from Zimbabwe came yesterday to wash and dress Old Bob's one winged bird. She is very efficient. She is studying Motor Engineering so Old Bob recommended a visit to Brookland Museum and maybe volunteering. She thanked Old Knowledgeable Bob and put it in her diary. Respite volunteer? There's a Helicopter Fly-in today between 10.30am and 4.30pm so be warned!
If you are able to understand any of this bizarre, disjointed blog then please let Old/Young Bob know
Friday 30th August 2024.
The Old Codger does his best but obviously it's not good enough, most of the time. Yesterday while pushing a wheelchair round Waitrose with a stinky great specially designed basket clamped to the wheelchair an argument developed between the pusher and the pushed,
Pushed. 'we don't need 5 green bananas we only need 3'
Pusher. 'I'd like 5 they're only small'
Pushed. '3 will be plenty put them back, break 3 off the bunch'
Pusher. 'shan't'
Pushed. 'do as I say'
Pusher. 'Oh! All right then'
Knackered Bob always does as he's told, most of the time. If you were listening in to a conversation between the receptionist at Home Instead and Knackered Bob at around 5pm yesterday you would have heard Knackered Bob organising a live in carer to keep the peace. Toute de suite.
Saturday 31st August 2024.
'Last post' on Page 50. Even though Old Bob had a 1.30am call out last night he feels surprisingly sporty. He's quietly pleased with his wet room taking shape in his garage (to be revealed next week) but in the meantime he thought you might like to be amazed at his Big Bramley. It weighs 1lb 6oz, that's 623 grams. It came from his tree planted by his father Reg around 50 years ago. Reg wore size 13 Wellington Boots just for the record, Old Bob has still got them, he'll probably need them in his wet room!
For scale purposes - Oxshott Village Sign Mug, Apple's latest cell phone and The Big Apple.
The telephone was used to dial a young lady working at The Air Ministry on HOLborn 3434 ext. 7127 on occasions. I wonder if she is still there!
Just found an old 1964 Diary.
Page 51 is now live if you are!
Bob's Blog Page 50
You are reading Page 50 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 85 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!