Bob's Blog Page 51
You are reading Page 51 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 85 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!
Sunday 1st September 2024.
'Live in care' costs two arms and two legs which is a price Old Bob is not prepared to pay so it's 'Carry on Coping', 'Carry on Hoping' and 'Carry on Thanking Your Lucky Stars Things Ain't Any Worse'. 'Carrying on Dreaming' has to be part of the plan as well don't you think? Otherwise wot's the point? 'Carrying on Rockin' and Rollin' to 'Angel Radio' is also part of Old Bob's plan. 'Carrying on Looking' at a myriad of stairlifts he's decided is a waste of time and energy, they're a rip off, unsafe, are a trip hazard and ugly so it'll have to be a Duo Lift or nothin'. Lulu is Rockin' and Rollin' as Old Bob is writing so he's going to have quit for a moment.
Phew! Hello is that extension 7127? #Hail, Hail Rock and Roll. #Hey Bird Dog, #Johnny is a Joker. #Splish Splash I was takin' a bath. #Movin' an' a groovin'. #Hey Baby, I love you so. #Is every body ready, Yeah! Yeah! #Let's have a party tonite, everythin's gonna be all right. #Lipstick on your collar, told a tale on you, yeah!. Back .... side close side .... forward .... side close side .... back .... side close side .................... #Hold on tite' baby. #She's a whole lot a woman and she's gotta have a whole lot a man. Phew!
It's Molift time, gotta go!
Monday 2nd September 2024.
Sounds like Old Bob's shirking his responsibilities but let it be known he takes his new position as Primary Carer (unpaid) seriously. He's trying to work out what there is to look forward to. Today's appointment for another eye injection is hardly something to look forward to but a visit to The Gin Distillery on the way back could be interesting! Another visit from The Angel Patrick today might also turn things around for his One Winged Bird, might. Delivery of his camping shower and Vinyl floor from Carpet Warehouse for his wet room is also something to look forward to. Easily pleased, fortunately.
Looking forward to the time when Horizontal Gravity is understood and becomes the norm' for 'Abundant' Renewable Energy is probably a step too far but looking forward to getting his One Winged Bird (or any bird for that matter!) on the dance floor isn't, is it? Dancing with a Molift could be the new Watusi!
Tuesday 3rd September 2024.
Dear Reader,
Those of you who study human psychology will know that we are all born with natural abilities, natural interests, natural skills and natural instincts and in order to remain happy, calm, confident, relaxed and in control we need to practice and develop our natural abilities. There are schools of thought that tell you that we are able to learn abilities, interests, skills and instincts which can be done and can be rewarding but without the natural element enjoyment and satisfaction will be less and the ability to inspire others will be less.
Caring for others is a natural instinct that Old Bob admits he doesn’t have but his Young Lady does. Old Bob is told that the reason for his lack of caring instincts is because he is an only child which is probably true. In order to develop an unnatural ability one has to give time to a natural ability which at the moment, in Old Bob's case, is writing a potty blog and developing a shower facility for his Young Lady in the garage which she doesn’t want.
Previously Old Bob's natural abilities have produced a string of potty ideas which he thought would change the world but didn't. But it is only his pursuit of his potty ideas that has enabled him to develop domesticity and a caring and nurturing skill which he admits still has a long way to go. Fortunately his eye injection yesterday was performed by somebody with a natural ability to inject eyeballs but nevertheless has left black footballs in his eyes. The Gin Distillery was closed.
Yours faithfully,
Old Bob's Favourite Angel.
Wednesday 4th September 2024.
Dear Favourite Angel,
Sounds a bit complicated but you are very perceptive and thanks for the insight. The only problem is that learning new skills that don't come naturally is all very well but at eighty stinky five it doesn't come easy. I have enough trouble getting out of bed let alone anything else, it's me who should be in a Care Home. Maybe you have a spare room? Perhaps not, I wouldn't want to burden you with looking after an old codger that pours milk in his teapot.
I've just discovered that the M25 Service Station at Cobham has a great shower facility for the disabled and it's free. Also, all sorts of healthy meals are on tap so perhaps I should live there. You could pop in to visit me at The Ramada what do you think? Perhaps you would like to join me?
Love and hugs,
Bob.
Dear Bob,
Thanks but no thanks. I haven't forgotten the last weekend I spent with you and I don't want to repeat it but your offer of a fish pie at The Skimmington sounds interesting.
Love a hug,
Your Favourite Angel.
Thursday 5th September 2024.
It's a Happy Birthday to Tim today. Sorry about the card Tim, it's in the post but it's not this one. You will be pleased to know that I've now fixed up the shower in the garage and it works a treat. I've croc clipped it up to a 12v battery charger, dropped the submersible pump into a bucket and nearly drowned myself! Yet to work out the drainage but that'll happen when I get the vinyl flooring which should happen soon. Have a great day. My one winged bird is warming to the idea. Other news is I might be selling this blog to the media, watch this space.
Friday 6th September 2024
Back in the summer of '61 Young Bob swopped his MG for a BSA 250. Tich's wife was pregnant and found riding on the pillion a touch uncomfortable so he asked Young Bob to swop. Anyway, it was the only time Young Bob had the use of a proper motorbike, he did have a Lambretta scooter for a few years but he always felt a touch uncomfortable with his knees together. The above reminds him of wind in his hair (he had hair back then) and snaking down the A24 via Horsham to Pagham. No crash helmet, just a cheese sandwich and a black and white chequered cheese cutter. Memories.
Today it's driving a Molift from room to room without tipping his passenger out. Hopefully it will soon be memories.
Saturday 7th Sept 2024.
Old Bob expects that by now you know all about Horizontal Gravity, he's been banging on about it for long enough, well yesterday he signed up as a Problem Solver on Wazoku.com and submitted the idea to solve the world's problems. Watch this space. In the meantime his roll of vinyl for his shower room floor was on board a vehicle which broke down on the M25, wouldn't happen if it was on a Molift! So it's watch this space.
You will appreciate that Old Bob has to keep his overactive grey matter busy otherwise it's shower curtains.
This is Old Bob's shower ceiling so far. The heavy duty support came from his boating days. The grab handle for his one winged bird was bought recently. The high pressure 12v camping shower works a treat. The all enveloping shower curtains came from IKEA. And the clouds came from the sky.
Sunday 8th September 2024.
Despite the thunder and lightening, today will be a good day (written at 6am). Lovely story in the news today, Sir Alan Bates married his Favourite Angel on Necker Island after 34 years of being together. Just shows what can be done if you are persistent. We need a few more lovely stories don't you think? How about Old Codger marries his Favourite Angel after 60 years apart?
6pm.
A very good day. Old Bob was taken to The Victoria in Oxshott, courtesy of Tim, for a pint. As you may know The Vic' featured heavily in Old Bob's misspent youth. The layout, décor and menu has been drastically altered since the late 50's but Old Bob was still able to wallow in nostalgia. The barman was so moved he bought a round of drinks. Cyril, the landlord in the late 50's, would turn in his grave if he knew his staff were giving away pints. Bob recalled the time when Cyril asked Young Bob to leave because he didn't like Young Bob's guitar playing. Between you and me it's still needs some work!
There was a downside, Tim took a few pictures of Bob deep in nostalgia and for the first time Bob realised that no longer is he Young Bob or even Old Bob but Wrinkly, Ancient, Nondescript, Knackered and Yesterday's Bob. Or ☆☆☆☆☆ Bob for short!
You said it, not me!
Monday 9th September 2024.
It's highly likely that those bricks behind Bob's head came from The Oxshott Bick Company down the road. And it's quite possible that Bob's great-grandfather John made the bricks. Certainly the fire that used to roar in the grate warmed many backsides back in the day. Memories!
Today will include another visit from The Angel Patrick to try to bring life back into Bob's young lady's left side, also delivery of the long awaited vinyl flooring for the shower facility or maybe the steam room facility!
The Blue Badge has been approved and is on it's way so another step forward or maybe 'a giant leap'?
Tuesday 10th September 2024.
Bob's vinyl flooring from Carpet Warehouse arrived last night so he's happy, doesn't take much!
He's laid his shower room flooring and it fits a treat. He's also submitted an answer to a problem posted by MISO (Midcontinent Independent Systems Operator) of Indiana. They've got a grid stability problem so he thought he would offer to solve it with his Horizontal Gravity. Persistence!
If you were around in the 40's and 50's and looking for inspiration try THIS. It's a profile of Bernard Levin.
Wednesday 11th September 2024.
It's the time of year when the condensation starts to creep up the windows the Sun is losing it's heat , your Solar Panels are less effective and your Windmill looks like a wet rag. So why not switch to Horizontal Gravity? Bob is getting increasingly confident that it's future is assured. Probably another dream that will be shattered on September 24th so something to look forward to? Why September 24th? We'll have to wait to find out.
In the mean time Bob has started to read another book (he can still read and drive despite the Macular). He took his young lady in the wheelchair up the lift into the Library today, a real 'outing'. Bob didn't come away with another romantic novel which would send him into Nirvana. He, purely by chance, came away with another Autobiography of Stephen Fry's. He had already read 'Moab is my Washpot' so now it's 'More Fool Me' which might turn out to be appropriate.
Thursday 12th September 2024.
Dearest Reader No 158,
As we all know one tide from high tide to low tide takes 6 hours and 12 minutes i.e. approximately 2 tides per day. During one tide one vessel would be collecting energy while drifting at 0.5m/s for approximately 3 hours and discharging energy while stationary for approximately 3 hours. Distance travelled at 0.5m/s would be approximately 5km but speed and distance travelled may be substantially reduced as a result of trials. Surface tidal stream speeds are on average 2m/s. See explanatory graph below. Inspiration (or confusion) came from somewhere!
Just thought you'd like to know.
Love and loadsa hugs,
Bob.
PS For the past 85 years I've been drinking brewed in the teapot loose leaf tea but for some unknown reason I've switched to a teabag in the teapot. Out of habit I'm still using the tea strainer but is that really necessary?
RUBBISH
TO BE MODIFIED
Friday 13th September 2024. (Lucky for some!).
The reader(s) of this blog won't realise that the above sketch is the result of 25 years of thought. If it is ever understood or acted upon it will be a miracle.
Much more interesting is the fact that Adam from Stiltz Lifts is coming today to give Bob and his one winged bird an estimate for a one man (or woman) lift. Apparently the price could go up or down (as well as the lift) depending on the angle of dangle or the heat of the meat. It's an old drawing office term for precision engineering.
Did you know that a discerning reader of great literature (or great blogs!) will read and re-read just like listening to ones favourite piece of music or staring at your favourite piece of artwork over and over again? Just wondering.
Saturday 14th September 2024.
'£19,000 but if you're quick we've got a couple of ex demo models at £16,000 a pop' quotes Adam from Stiltz Lifts, 'would you like the door hinging left or right?'. Old Bob was reminded of the days when he was in Adams shoes selling Encyclopaedia Britannica, Fire Extinguishers, Kitchens, Soap, Easyreaders, APO's etc. Bob's young lady, who was in the dark regarding Adams visit, pop's up with 'on yer bike Adam'. Bob carried on reading and thinking.
Sunday 15th September 2024.
Happy Birthday to Maeve, Maeve is the two year toddler next door who celebrated her birthday with an entertainer in her back garden singing nursery rhymes, blowing bubbles, jumping up and down and laughing with all her friends. An old lady in a wheelchair next door who knew all the words and got bubbled over peered over the fence and cried with delight.
Moving on, the 'BLUE BADGE' arrived yesterday so now Bob's young lady's driver can park on yellow lines if he so wishes provided he has the aforesaid young lady with him. They can also drive into London without paying the congestion charge and many other concessions but they are hoping that one day they will be returning the BLUE BADGE to the place from whence it came. Weather this week is sunny and a gentle breeze. Enjoy if you able.
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Bob's Blog Page 51
You are reading Page 51 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 85 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!