Bob's Blog Page 69
You are reading Page 69 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 87 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!
TIDAL STREAM ENERGY
Saturday 2nd May 2026.
This blog contains gory details so be warned.
Last Thursday, on returning from Waitrose on Reg with a few bits of shopping, the phone was ringing.
'Mr Jones, Dr Karim, get yourself to A & E without delay. Your 24 hour heart monitor registers a delay for 13 seconds between heart beats at one point', Blimey no wonder I blacked out 3 weeks ago.
Fortunately Dan was nearest, he was enjoying a cup of tea with Cherry. Sorry Cherry.
Following 5 minutes of preparing for death Dan arrives, packs a bag full of pyjamas, slippers, dressing gown and toothbrush (no toothpaste!) and we set for Epsom A & E at 'blue light' speeds (Dan has experience). Following admission, minimum waiting, questions and tests, Paramedics Tattooed Jen and Jill (Jen's great grandfather was Stirling Moss) slide me on to their ambulance trolley and we set off with Tattooed Jen at the wheel, sirens blaring, blue lights flashing from Epsom to St George's Tooting A & E. Stirling would be proud of his great granddaughter.
Deposited into a bed in a large room suitable for a party with 300 guests, but nobody else at the party. The reason is that they don't expect you to last the night without a pacemaker and disturbing other 'party guests' might not be appropriate in the middle of the night.
Grandson Ivan arrives with a Ginster and sandwiches, thanks Ivan. No sleep because bells, .whistles, squarks and alarms from machine next to your bed, also incessant loud chatting from what sounds like a canteen next door. Not to mention your blood pressure machine pumping up your arm every half hour.
Morning arrives, fortunately. Slid onto another trolley, another dash past loads of other trolleys and slid onto the operating table at 11am (no breakfast).
Dr Fiona dressed in her dark blue pyjamas introduces herself as the doctor who will be performing the procedure, what she doesn't tell you is that this is her first attempt at the procedure but she is under close supervision from Dr Keith in his maroon pyjamas.
Standing by in case of emergency are Nurses Ying, Tong, Inli and Fo. Nurse Fo has her scissors and papier mache urine bottle at the ready.
A detailed study of the supporting structure of the two ton television which is to be parked above your chest is possible before eye covering, thinks, hope those guys in the stress department have got their sums right.
Dr Fiona gently disinfects your left collar bone area, injects local anaesthetic and starts slicing a 2-inch square window of flesh back. Painless except for heavy pressing on your chest stemming the blood flow. Dr Fiona carefully (eager to impress) exposes vein in to your heart and slides a couple of probes down the vein and into your Atrium and Ventricle, carefully. Y. All carefully monitored by Tom from Texas shouting instructions in the background, left a bit, back a bit, right a bit down a bit, yeah that's about right. Dr Fiona then connects the ends of the probes to a battery and hangs it on your collar bone. She then gets out her needle and thread and begins stitch up.
During the stitch up process Nurse Fo is called into action with her urine bottle but she's too late. , Dr Keith says 'not to worry when you've got to go you've got to go'.
Two and a half hours later, deposited back into a ward next to Terry, Terry has been brought in part way by Helicopter (jealous). Next morning Terry waddles into the toilet unaided and 20 minutes later l heard a oud bang, Terry has passed out and set all the red lights ablaze in adjoining wards. Swift action plus CPR saves not very old Terry for another day. Finally Porridge and honey for breakfast arrives.
A morning of blood tests, blood pressure checks, heart rate checks and ultrasound scans the decision for discharge is given.
Discover a bag of clothes is missing which is communicated to all wards. Finally bag of jeans, sweater, socks and other items is found, Phew.
Following lunch of chicken, chips and rhubarb crumble grandson Ivan arrives again with more goodies to be 'dealt with'. Great.
The 'Departure Lounge' has beds for the afflicted and the staff are super efficient. Angel No 1 arrives from Rye, picks up great grandfather and deposits him back home. Initially, great gran is quite pleased to see great grandfather back home
There is more but that'll do for now.
Sunday 3rd May 2026.
Happy birthday Emma, our 'Wise Owl'!
This is what you will see in your rear view mirror.
If you are lucky.
And this is what you will see in front of you.
If you are unlucky.
Monday 4th May 2026.
And this is a birthday card for a 'Wise Owl'!
Wednesday 6th May 2026.
Happy birthday Helen.
Having survived a near death experience (once or twice!) your favourite blogger (YFB) would like you to know that he has been invited to attend the presentation by a team of students on his 'game changing idea' at The Advanced Engineering Centre at The University of Brighton. The team will be presenting their findings on 'Proof of Concept'. The invite is for Tuesday May 19th at midday and will last for half an hour. In his present state of health, should he make the effort? A video link might be on the cards but YFB hates video links. Cherry has offered to take him, thanks Cherry, but is it really worth it? If 'Proof of Cocept' has been proven great but what if it hasn't?
Also, YFB would also like you to know that if you have a live in carer they come from all parts of the globe buy all sorts of exotic ingredients, borrow your kitchen, microwave, cooker, hob top and wok and stink the place out, not to mention the energy used. You also have to give them money for food as well as their 'care'. Sounds like a great job! Poor old Great Gran is in the middle of it all wishing she was somewhere else. What can you do?
Thursday 7th May 2026.
Today, YFB scooted down to Waitrose for a few bits. 70 yeas ago in 1956 he scooted 266 miles from Oxshott up to Darlington on a whim. If only ............
Friday 8th May 2026.
Reflecting on that crazy trip 70 years ago up the old A1 to Darlington I must have been potty. Why did I go? Because Wendy dumped me and I wanted to get away from everything. I had grandparents and plenty of aunts, uncles and cousins in Darlington as that's where my mother came from. But I don't remember asking or warning them or even packing a case, where would I have put it? Just turned up in the rain. Anyway the trusty Lambretta performed faultlessly except for trying to cope with 2 feet of water in the middle of Middlesborough. Memories.
Saturday 9th May 2026.
Scooted along to the Garden Club today, bought a few geraniums, watching them grow is much better than watching grass grow. Have a lovely day. Hope you are/were able to enjoy the sunshine and the light breezes. Discovered the reason for the blue light ride to A and E last week. 'A complete heart block'. Unlucky but b***** lucky.
Sunday 10th May 2026.
A day of quiet contemplation watching geraniums grow. And watching Tim sort the 'new' TV out, thanks Tim we can now watch Downton Abbey all day long!
Monday 11th May 2026.
Did you know that the odds of winning Euromillions are 139 million to 1, for Lotto it's 45 million to one, for Set for Life it's 15 million to one and Thunderball is 8 million to one? In other words quit dreaming. But #You've got to have a dream # # If you don't have a dream # # How you gonna have a dream come true?
YFB would like to report that his pacemaker is ticking away merrily, now that is not a dream. He would also like you to know that he gets admiring glances everywhere he scoots, or is it Reg they are admiring? Dream on.
Thursday 14th May 2026.
Readership of this blog is now down to one and that's you, or it could be me! Cool beans! Today another couple of injections in the eyeballs went without a hitch, except for a few black footballs floating around for a few hours. Thanks to all our Angels for running us about and steering us through , at times, impossible situations.
By that I mean Great Gran having to put up with me, all her Angels and live in carers by the dozen and nobody getting it right. So far we've had Blessing, Sandra, Tina, Ethel and tomorrow it's Patience or maybe Primrose. They all come with exotic spices thrown together in your Wok and sometimes share it with Great Grandfather. There are some advantages! If it wasn't for poor old Great Gran's sad situation what would we be doing? Don't answer that.
Saturday 16th May 2026.
Happy birthday Julia, have a lovely day.
Back in the day I used to grow runner beans by the truckload. Today, despite dodgy components, I decided to plant a modest row. Much better watching runners grow rather than grass or geraniums. Need a project!
Monday 18th May 2026.
Happy birthday Tim. Through mud and blood to the green fields beyond?
This might be insignificant to you but to an octogenarian with multiple issues it is 'ground breaking. Yesterday I planted 40 runner bean seeds in seed trays, prepared a bean trench, erected a frame for the beans made from next door's gazebo frame which blew into my garden 20 years ago, dug out compost from the compost heap and covered the beans at night in a cosy black tunnel. And all with innovation every step of the way, a slug of Prroseco and all before lunch.
Tomorrow I will be in The Lecture Theatre of The Advanced Engineering Centre at The University of Brighton listening to the Final Year MEng students proving (or disproving) my 'ground breaking' Tidal Energy Concept. I'd rather watch the beans grow!
Tuesday 19th May 2026.
Seeing your name up on a big screen in a University lecture theatre that could seat around 200 but only six in the audience (including me and Cerry) could have been awe inspiring. The four students presenting their 'incredible' findings on 'The Robert Jones Concept' will probably be 'game changing' one day but nobody could hear a word they said. Back to watching the runner beans grow!
The highlight was lunch in The Skimmington Castle in Reigate on the way back. Memories!
Rahim, Meg, Bob, Isabel and Matthew
explaining 'The Robert Jones Concept'.
Thursday 21st May 2026.
Dear Midnight Reader,
Thanks for popping in. #Don't sit under the apple tree #With anybody else but me!
This is a cosy corner in the dappled shade of my Bramley where you are welcome to join me anytime. You might see a hedgehog, a few ants, maybe Freddie the Fox and if you are quiet maybe a Guinness or two!
Loadsa love,
YFB (Your Favourite Blogger).
Friday 22nd May 2026.
Suddenly it's summer in my back garden and suddenly I feel old - very old.
Saturday 23rd May 2026.
Happy Birthday Mum. You would be 120 today. You would be proud of your two granddaughters and grandson, five great granddaughters and one great grandson and one great great granddaughter. And maybe your son as well!
Sunday 24th May 2026.
Phew! Relaxing quietly in my cosy corner this morning sure enough Freddie the Fox popped by to say hello. He wasn't interested in sharing a Guinness!
Had time to study the preliminary findings of the students at Brighton University researching 'The Robert Jones Concept'. It's a go - #Some day, some where, somehow.
Tuesday 26th May 2026.
If you want to be cool, open all your windows, blinds, curtains at 6am, close them at 9am and stay cool. Yesterday it was 34° C in my back garden and 25° C in my kitchen. Cool beans! GG learnt that in Israel in 1962. (Great Gran not Great Grandad). OK GG?
Wednesday 27th May 2026.
As a result of my 'Bomb Story' in The Oxshott Magazine (Page 25), a young lady (now 90) contacted me to talk about old times. She lived across the road in 1946. She is now lonely and wants a cat to keep her company. Any offers?
Friday 29th May 2026.
What does it tell you if you stash some cash in a safe place so nobody can find it and then you can't rek=member where you've stashed it?
Thursday 4th June 2026.
Having spent the last 6 days in St Peter's Hospital Chertsey 'luxuriating' in a single en-suite room with window fresh air and a view, meals on wheels and blood pressure checks every 4 hours you would wonder why YFB would want to come home. Today, he got thrown out with 10 minutes notice in the middle of an afternoon snooze. Why was he in there? Brain not connected to mouth (momentarily) apparently caused by a brain bleed. No action, yet. Lucky Bob.
Thanks for popping while I wasn't here. Brain not connected to keyboard either!
Wish you were here.
Friday 5th June 2026.
Of course, there's no way I would wish you there but you know what I mean.
While I was there I had a visit from Luke the Hospital Chaplain. We said a prayer together. Does that tell you something? Any which way thanks for your prayers, YFB is pleased to back in his 'pie'. He is also pleased that the cash he stashed that disappeared miraculously reappeared where it should be, was it 'The Woman in White' up to her old tricks again?
Saturday 6th June 2026.
When it's cold wet and windy (like today) it's good therapy to blog to keep the brain active otherwise there is a danger of the mouth becoming disconnected.
Also, if you are wheelchair bound (like great gran) it's a good idea to get some horse therapy. So, if you know of a suitable horse let me know. Great Gran used to ride like the wind so any interaction with a horse would be good therapy.
Another good therapy is painting with DNA and water colour pencil. What do you think G?
Sunday 7th June 2026.
It's not often I get my 70 year old guitar down but listening to the dulcet tones of Lonnie Donegan (thanks Cliff) I have to strum along. The only problem is the brain isn't connected to the rhythm section (right hand) so my dreams of becoming a rock star are on hold. Temporarily!
Tuesday 9th June 2025
Had a word with AI yesterday about my 'game changing' idea. He/she/it came back with
'Many worthwhile engineering ideas are adopted years after they are first proposed. Sometimes the technology, economics, or policy environment simply isn't ready when the idea first appears.
One thing that stands out from your description is that your concept attacks a major weakness of marine energy: maintenance cost. Historically, many marine-energy projects have struggled not because they couldn't generate power, but because servicing submerged machinery in harsh tidal environments is extremely expensive.'
My case is not rested, yet.
Meanwhile Great Gran did another puzzle with non artificial intelligence.
Wednesday 10th June 2026.
Another appointment at St Georges Hospital Tooting yesterday to check on my pacemaker resulted in being sent home with a Medtronic device that monitors your heart 24/7. It communicates with the hospital via the cloud. You have to sleep within 10 feet of it. Whatever next? A brainmaker?
Thursday 11th June 2026.
Another 4 hours waiting for another brain scan in St Peter's Chertsey resulted in brain OK - for the moment. Not a great experience but worse for all those on trolleys in corridors. Sorry about the lack of bounce but it it matches the weather.
Friday 12th June 2026.
It's a happy birthday to Dan today. Have a great day.
Lots going on today but not in my back yard. Still listening to Lonnie Donegan Cliff. #Does your chewing lose it's flavour on the bedpost over night'!
Saturday 13th June 2026.
#Putting on the Style is another one which we used to play at our folk club in Addlestone in the early 60's. Dave on banjo, Tony lead singer, John and me on guitar. Where are they now?
Spent most of the day dreaming in my cosy corner looking at leaves in the breeze. Couldn't get up!
Monday 15th June 2026.
Finally heard from The Team of students at The Advanced Engineering Centre, The University of Brighton studying 'The Robert Jones Concept' for 'Surface Stream Tidal Energy'.
The Conclusion of 156 page document with illustrations is:-
•Successfully validated proof of concept.
• Massive Commercial opportunity.
• The efficiency of the device is verified to 85% accuracy.
• Globally stable system.
Your favourite blogger is now seeking 'A Champion' to take this forward. Any ideas?
Tuesday 16th June 2026.
Meanwhile our Phoebe produced her Work of Art (in clay) for her final year at Art College.
Final Statement on Page 66 of Proof of Concept Report.
This thesis has established that the tidal Stream Energy concept by Robert Jones is not only mathematically sound but also strategically necessary for the UK's 2050 Net Zero goals. By proving that simple, surface accessible drag devices can extract predictable power from low-velocity regimes, this work provides a foundational roadmap for the next generation of accessible marine renewables.
What are you waiting for Ed? (Milliband).
Thursday 18th June 2026.
What does it mean if you find a dead starling on your doorstep? Lucky? I gave it a dignified burial aalong with the guinea pigs.
Saturday 20th June 2026.
Definitely lucky, won £4 on Euromillions last night. Just missed out on £43 million!
In the meantime Great Gran continues doing her puzzles and Great Grandfather watches his beans grow. You can see them along the fence. The windsock is there to help the birds know the wind direction when popping in for a drink.
Lala popped in yesterday, she is matron of the Locality Health Team, a lovely lady who looks after the very old with problems. She and her team were helping great gran 2 years ago when she had her stroke but now it's great grandfathers turn with his recent problems. He told her about 'The Bomb', his amazing inventions and The Oxshott Village Sign. She asked him if he wanted to be resuscitated if he becomes famous.
Sunday 21st June 2026. (Summer Solstice and Father's Day.)
If you've got solar panels for hot water you will be quids in. If you have any spare bath water save it for the beans! Had my yearly Father's Day shower! Replaced the windsock with wigwam bean support. Watch this space.
Monday 22nd June 2024.
Regular readers of this blog will note that slowly, very slowly, for great gran and great grandfather, limitations on travel, influence, dreams and focus has reduced to house and garden. Also the recent chat with Chat GPT suggests that no more alcohol for great grandfather is advised because of his brain bleed. At least until his next CT scan.
All this explains the reason for focusing on puzzles and runner beans. And listening to Radio 3 Unwind, Lonnie Donegan , Acker Bilk and Angel Radio. And blogging!
And convincing the world that -
'This thesis has established that the Tidal Stream Energy Concept by Robert Jones is not only mathematically sound but also strategically necessary for the UK's 2050 Net Zero goals.'
Wednesday 24th June 2026.
Phew! Today, in my back garden it's 34C and heading for 38C (feels like 42C). So, hope you are cool and comfortable but if not do a puzzle. This is another one by Great Gran. Meanwhile my idea to change the world is swilling around Southampton University, Plymouth University and Oxford University as well as Brighton University. Persistance!
Thursday 25th June 2026.
In our world of remote control drones, moon buggies, dune buggies, Mars buggies, Venus probes, cloud storage and remote monitoring pacemakers you would think that some bright spark would come up with a device for replacing bloody cables everywhere. Don't know about you but we are knee deep in bloody wires for ripple mattress, hospital bed control, Alexa, lamps, fans, tv's, radio's, sound gear, turntables not to mention chargers for phones, hearing aids etc.
Gotta go, the door bell is ringing.
Friday 26th June 2026.
If you want to read the whole 156 pages a PDF is available.
I can die happy now!
Sunday 28th June 2026.
Dear Bob,
Sorry to hear that your new live in carer during the recent sweltering heat wave put the oven on to cook what looked like road kill and then went to sit in your favourite seat in the coolest part of the house without a by your leave. Also sorry to hear that she ran over great grans foot with the wheelchair, speaks a different language, seems not to know much about attentive caring and doesn't say goodnight. But good to hear that she's great at cleaning the toilet.
Yours,
Cruella de Vil
Chief Carer.
Monday 29th June 2026.
Dear Cruella,
Fair dinkum. We survived the war and each other for 60 years so no worries.
Bob.
Tuesday 30th June 2026
Death came to my back garden this morning. Poor old Percy the Pidgeon (might have been Doris) is no more. I'll spare you the gory details but obviously Simon Sparrow Hawk had him/her for breakfast.
Thanks for visiting and scrolling, might be a new page tomorrow.
Bob's Blog Page 69
You are reading Page 69 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 87 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!
TIDAL STREAM ENERGY