Bob's Blog Page 70
You are reading Page 70 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 87 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!
TIDAL STREAM ENERGY
Wednesday 1st July 2026.
Because of a very valid constructive criticism regarding the Robert Jones Concept parachute sea anchors will not be used so, Eureka! This is my design for a maximum drag hull that won't collect flotsam and jetsam or floating and semi-submerged debris and fish and seals and other stuff that might be swimming around. You are the first to view so don't tell anyone. Drawn by Bob using 'Paint' with one eye out of action and the other one's not up to much either.
Image deleted, sorry about that.
Friday 3rd July 2026.
It would apesr that few understand how the above is so incredibly effective, 'simple', 'novel', 'innovative' and 'game changing' and sometimes so does the deigner but the fact that the students at Brighton University have concluded that it is a must for the planet and THE COAST LAB at Plymouth University are 'keen' to develop it given funding, surely must mean something.
The designer has always said that it is only trials that will prove or disprove the 'Robert Jones Concept' so let's get on with it before Robert Jones disappears from the planet.
At the risk of boring the pants off all my regular readers Cliff, the obvious next step for a maximum drag vessel is a catamaran or multi-hull vessel. This innovative development will be communicated to all who are still interested.
Image deleted, sorry about that.
Saturday 4th July 2026.
Normally we'd be celebrating the 4th July, especially the 250th snniversary, but Donald keeps throwing his toys out of his pram so you begin to wonder.
Anyway, great grandfather has decided that his latest design above is definitely patentable but he's decided not to apply because he's too old and it costs.
Meanwhile great gran recommends a puzzle a day will keep the blues away.
Sunday 5th July 2026.
Just like to record for posterity that great gran's live in carer is so bloody miserable, does little grudgingly, never says good night and rarely good morning. Great grandfather, by contrast is like a jolly spring chicken. Must be his new pacemaker!
Monday 6th July 2026.
Just like to record for posterity that following a group chat that all is now going swimmingly. Not only for great gran and great grandfather but for England as well, phew!
Later. Is it OK to record that things are far from going 'swimmingly', far from it. Great gran deserves a lot more understanding, care and attention. So does great grandad really but he's not covered in the contract. So there you go.
Wenesday 8th July 2026.
Lecture for today. We've all heard of a four stroke engine and a two stroke engine but a one stroke engine? It's called a double acting engine (same as a steam engines). The Robert Jones Concept is a double acting engine so there you go. Class over.
Thursday 9th July 2026.
Amongst the achievements today (there were many) was a 6am start to finish off the new 6ft fence. Note the multi purpose washing lines holding the fence up. Might get a runner bean later!
Saturday 11th July 2026.
Plenty of flowers but not a baby bean in sight. Busy day today for great grandfather, no time to watch the tennis, cricket, football, golf, Formula 1 or cheese rolling. Another 6am start, live in carer flaked out, pacemaker coping, just!
Thinks, might adorn the fence with plastic ivy. This is the before and after for next door's privet hedge.
Before plastic ivy.
After plastic ivy. Impressed?
Monday 13th July 2026.
Not sure if I mentioned this but The COAST LAB at Plymouth University are 'keen to model and trial The Robert Jones Concept given funding. Don't forget that the Brighton University students thesis concluded that this is a 'massive commercial opportunity'. Target funding required is around £100,000 for starters, that includes two pounds, sixteen shillings and fourpence a week for great grandfather. Equal to his first wage packet in September 1955. Might sell a few shares!
By the way, great grandfather has decided he'd like hs ashes sprinkled from the downstream side of Downside Bridge over the River Mole. That would mean that he would meander out into the River Thames at Thames Ditton, and out into the tidal streams at the Thames estuary. Thereby helping to save the planet as part of a 'one stroke engine' WHEN it is developed.
Don't forget to choose a calm day otherwise he might get blown into the Plough at Downside!
Wednesday 15th July 206.
Great grandfather has decided not to have his ashes sprinkled into the River Mole at Downside Bridge because his cranky idea of a 'one stroke engine' will never be built. He's also decided to concentrate on putting up fences, knocking down sheds and looking after great gran.
Might be a different story tomorrow!
Talking about great gran this is great, great gran back in 1977 in the Yorkshire Dales with great gran and her grandchildren. Dressed for the occasion! Memories.
Friday 17th July 2026.
Back to the future. Talking about back to the future Dan (that's him above when he was three) and I were in LA in when they were making the film in Universal Studios, we had a tour around the sets. You can read all about the trip HERE if you've nothing better to do.
Saturday 18th July 2026.
And if you still have nothing to do you might like to read (no pictures) a couple of Bob's sailing stories. One aboard Ray's yacht for a couple of weekends in 2003 and one sailing around Croatia in 2005 with the lads. Riveting reading! Click HERE.
But if you are a busy bee with little time to read this riveting blog and you have a bloody amazing AI device on your phone you can ask it to 'Listen To This Page' you will hear a couple discussing and commenting on old Bob's antic's and dreams. Bloody hilarious. Excuse the expletives but it could have been worse!
Monday 20th July 2026.
The images deleted above have morphed into this which may appear a touch potty but we'll wait and see.
If you want to model the above you can use standard square uPVC rainwater downpipe the same as I used for the 'Handy Sander', remember?
Tuesday 21st July 2026.
If great grandfather had an ounce of energy he would be making them in his shed himself but being energyless (unlike his amazing one stroke engine invention) incapable, wobbly, shaky and dodgy eye sight so fat chance of getting it right.
Wednesday 22nd July 2026.
Meanwhile great gran with one side still out of action continues doggedly on with her puzzles. This one reminds me of Jack Brown's grocery store in Oxshott fust after the war, complete with his bacon slicer at the ready. It's his wire cheese cutter I particularly remember but I haven't a clue why.
Friday 24th July 2026.
You will be pleased to learn that, before he falls over and breaks something, YFB (your favourite blogger) has taken the bull by the horns and asked for a quote for testing his amazing invention.
The Advanced Engineering Centre at Brighton University have a great workshop and an old boy, who looks like Jack (above), who could easily knock together a model. They've also got great tank testing facilities for performance analysis and scale estimates.
Who's going to pay for it? EuroMillions of course! Watch this space.
Does today's date mean that it will be 24/7 24/7? Another couple of stabs in the eyeballs today for very old age relared macular degeneration wasn't funny, but there you go.
Saturday 25th July 2026.
A really exciting trip today with Reg to the cemetery. This is Reg visiting his grandmother (my great grandmother) Annie Josephine Byrne. You can read all about her HERE.
And this is Reg visiting his grandfather and his second wife Eliza.
A touch parched don't you think?
Tuesday 28th July 2026.
This old blogger made his first Bramley Apple stew yesterday using apples from his Bramley apple tree planted by his father 50 years ago. That shouldn't happen until late August so what does that tell you?
The Bramley apple tree is also holding up his new 6ft fence so what doas tht tell you?
Also, this old blogger misses pulling up the sails on his yacht and buggering off somewhere dreamy so what does that tell you?
This is the lads aboard Clean Sweep back in 1996 moored outside The Folly Inn in the Medina River, Isle of Wight. Left to right, Phil, Spike, Mike, Old Bob and Young Bob. Tragically Phil got killed when the helicopter he was in crashed off of Norfolk coming back from the gas rigs. If his wife Christine and daughter Rebecca are reading this he is not forgotten.
You can read all about their hairy adventures HERE.
Thursday 30th July 2026.
And if you wish to read (or listen) to more hairy adventures, this time with Smashey and Nicey, click HERE.
Friday 31st July 2026.
Probably too wobbly to walk up the gang plank now, let alone splice the main brace!
And just to round off dreaming about hairy, but memorable, times on the water, click HERE for for a few pictures (no stories) of YFB's attempte at fishing.
Two unexpected surprises today. One, great grandfather harvested his runner bean.
And 2, great gran received a surprise visit from great granddaughter Rosa. How lovely is that?
Sunday 2nd August 2026.
Another six runner beans were greatly enjoyed today. And so was a visit from granddaughter Lottie who decided to check out grandad's Harley Davidson and knock up a few shelves for her bedroom in grandad's untidy but amazing workshop which has everything in it including the kitchen sink. Very enterprising. Might be a picture so WTS.
Tuesday 4th August 2026.
This is the inspired shelf made by Lottie in Grandad's shed with a jigsaw, drill and a few nails in ten minutes flat. A chip off the old block?
Inspired by Lottie, grandad decided to open up 'Paint', with which he is now a dab hand at, and create a memorial plaque for his parents. He would like it made in black anodised aluminium with laser etched white lettering (same as The Oxshott Village Sign) but a quote of £107 is currently not on. So, a scoot down the library with his Memory Stick and for 30p he came back with this.
The plaque will be hung on the bramley apple tree which Reg planted over 50 years ago.
That's not the end of the story. While grandad was down the library he came back with a book in large print for great gran which turned out to be a steamy romantic novel by Julia James which Great Gran finds difficult to put down. Puzzles are out the window!
Wednesday 5th August 2026.
And this is the Bramley complete with memorial plaque which is only cardboard and paper at the moment but it will be fine if it never rains again? Cosy corner in the background to which you are invited for a Guinness Zero or a 1% Cider anytime.
YFB could write a book about his parents at this point but a simple thanks to Mum and Dad will do for now.
Talking about books this is great gran enjoying her steamy romantic novel with the aid of an Easyreader. The Easyrader, which you've probably forgotten about, is another of Bob's amazing inventions yet to go viral.
Only 10 left!
Friday 7th August 2026.
Gone are the days when you could fix a drippy tap with a tuppeny 'apenny washer. Now it's the wrong side of a hundred quid plus bits. And gone are the days when great grandad could DIY it but now with a wobbly legs, wobbly eye sight, wobbly brain and a dicky heart he's snookered.
But, a visit to The Oxshott Club on his scooter for a game of snooker, a wobbly cue and a hundred balls on the table might improve his game! Always look on the bright side?
Monday 10th August 2026.
Yesterday YFB visited The Fruit Machine in Cobham Highstreet on REG and bought some potatoes in a brown paper bag which still had soil on (the potatoes not the bag), a proper greengrocers. He then carried on exploring the footpaths, alleyways and byways available to REG in preparation for an 'out of orbit burn' to Oxshott. Such is life fast approaching 90!
There's a picture of REG visiting the cemetery if you scroll back a bit.
He also popped in to Farrants bought some plastic laminate pouches and ironed 'em on all his labels, and memorial plaques, including REG, bloody brilliant!
While he was in the shed he screwed on to a piece of wood great gran's elephant Wendy House knocker which had been given to her by her grandmother. The elephant Wendy House knocker has featured on great gran's Wendy House, the children and grand children's Wendy Houses a and now destined for great granddaughter Rosa's Wendy House. She is one year old on Thersday. Might be a picture.
FAO Mr Michael Shanks MP (he's the new Minister of Energy).
Dear Mr Shanks,
Surface Tidal Stream Energy. An 'innovative' concept'.
Independent Advisors at Innovate UK have described this proposal as 'simple', 'innovative', 'novel' and 'potentially game changing'.
Final year MEng students at The Advanced Engineering Centre at Brighton University have recently completed a thesis. Their final statement is:-
This thesis has established that the tidal Stream Energy concept by Robert Jones is not only mathematically sound but also strategically necessary for the UK's 2050 Net Zero goals. By proving that simple, surface accessible drag devices can extract predictable power from low-velocity regimes, this work provides a foundational roadmap for the next generation of accessible marine renewables.
Their conclusion is:-
•Successfully validated proof of concept.
• Massive Commercial opportunity.
• The efficiency of the device is verified to 85% accuracy.
• Globally stable system.
156 page thesis PDF available on request.
Full details on www.walktowork.co.uk/moon or PDF attached.
Plymouth, Southampton, Brighton Universities and others are 'keen' to model/test this proposal in their tidal testing tanks given funding.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Kind regards,
Robert Jones.
Retired Design Engineer.
Surrey, UK.
Dear Bob,
Thank you for contacting me.
Please note I receive several hundred emails a day, so I will not be able to respond to all emails immediately. I prioitise responses by the urgency of the issue rather than date received. Your patience is appreciated.
Yours etc
Michael.
YFB is wondering whether there is anything more 'urgent' than saving the planet. And he can't spell proritise either so what does that tell you? Let the Moon do the work.
Tuesday 11th August 2026.
The above is the front cover showing loadsa cheques for loadsa money (remember cheques?) of A Guide to Recruitment Consultancy written by yours truly in 1988 which is very relevant today. Available free on PDF from yours truly.
You've probably forgotten that yours truly used to run a one man recruitment agency called Independent Recruitment Services specialising in technical recruitment from a rented office above At Home deli' in Cobham High Street. Why isn't he doing it now? Because he keeps forgetting that he's more than a trifle incapable, but a trifle more capable that great gran who used to make the most scrumptious trifles.
Don't forget the partial eclipse of the sun tomorrow at around 7.15 pm.
And this is Old Bob's Observatory.
And this is the amazing reult.
Thursday 13th August 2026.
Happy birthday to great granddaughter Rosa who is one today.
And this is great gran's elephant Wendy House door knocker
given to great gran by her grandmother which will one day
adorn Rosa's Wendy House.
Beautifully screwed to a piece of wood by great grandfather!
Saturday 15th August 2026.
And this is the Wendy House sporting the Elephant knocker that great grandfather designed and built in 2008 for Maddie and Phoebe and then refurbished it and passed it on to Lottie in 2016.
It's 2 storey accessed by half of Uncle Alf's step ladder!
And this is great gran with her Wendy house built by her father in 1945 in her
back garden in Perivale.
Elephant knocker not yet arrived.
And to complete the journey of the Elephant Wendy House door knocker
this is the children in the back garden with the Wendy House, built by Bob, complete with
Elephant door knocker just visible if you zoom in. c1977 in the snow, remember snow?
Monday 17th August 2026.
Back in 1961, Wendy, who lived down the road from great gran, asked great gran to be chief bridesmaid at her wedding. Great gran wasn't too happy about being dressed up like a dog's dinner with a meringue on top but Wendy was, and still is, very persuasive.
Tuesday 18th August 2026.
Meanwhile back in 1961, your favourite blogger YFB) was dancing around Surbiton Assembly Rooms in a 'spot' waltz. The question was 'when is the next year that looks the same when upside down?'
Quick as a flash YFB shouted out '6009'. His prize was a pair of nylons!
Thursday 20th August 2026.
You'll be pleased to know that REG, that's him if you scroll back a bit to 25th July, is being fuelled up for his out of orbit burn to Oxshott. He will be visiting his birth place, old haunts and most importantly The Oxshott Village Sign to check if there's any bird poo on the plaques. The problem is that the pilot is too knackered after all that dancing so, in the mean time we'll take a look at great gran admiring YFB's first motor. It's a 1930 Morris Minor which was great training for his future trips. And if you can make sense of any of that .........................!
Sharp eyed readers will know that that is not a Morris Minor but an Austin 7 but spot the difference.
Friday 21st August 2026.
The most obvious difference is the radiator cap. On a Morris Minor it sports a round water temperature gauge with a red pointer, the Austin 7 doesn't. They both have 19" diameter wheels with 6" diameter brake drums operated by stretchy cables which might work if you're lucky and usually half a turn slop in the steering wheel. On mine the passenger door sometimes unlatched going round corners. No seat belts either!
And if you've got more than one passenger it'll struggle to get up steep hills so best to go up backwards, reverse gear is lower tham first gear. No worries!
Sunday 23rd August 2026. (Out of orbit burn to Oxshott).
This is No 2 The Brambles, Little Heath Lane, 3 generations of the Jones family lived here from c.1900 to c.1962 and holds a million memories for Reg and Bob. It's now called No. 36 and sports a large extension and swimming pool but Reg still found it very emotional. Currently Dan is, amazingly, the gardener.
And this is No.1 Little Heath Farm Cottages, Steels Lane. Bob was born here in the original cottages before they were flattened by 'The Bomb' at 4am on 1st April 1944. These cottages were built after the war and on the same site, they carry the same name. Another million memories.
And this is The Oxshott Village Sign designed by Bob in 2017. Reg is quite proud of his son!
And this is the all important plaque on the back of the post but Bob always thought it should have been on the front. Another long story. Still in great condition. No bird poo!
No comment except 2 million memories!
And this is No. 27 Blundel Lane where Bob lived from 1947 to 1966. 10 million memories!
Note walking stick in case of road or footpath rage!
So, all in all a very successful trip aboard Reg. The trip also included a coffee and a chat with Oxshott Historian Mike, Thanks to Mike. The route was via many a 'Private Road', footpaths, alleyways and main roads. No worries for 'out of galaxy' burns next time!
Tuesday 25th August 2026
Now this may sound a trifle insignificant but quietly harvesting runner beans at 7am this morning a bg apple weighing 560 grams fell out of the Bramley and missed me by a whisker. Regular readers will know that the Bramley is in loving memory of Reg and Mabel (my parents) so what does that tell you?
There used to be a bg Bramley and a fish pond in the middle of that car park above.
This is Mabel waiting for the driver outside No.27around 1962.
Wednesday 26th August 2026.
You can see the bg Bramley here on the right blotting out the landscape.
And talking about millions of memories the soft top, split screen 1955 Morris Minor tops the lot!
And this is young Bob's 1959 Riley 1.5 parked in the same spot. Cool?
And this is the view from the cockpit of his 1933 MG J1 c.1959.
Thursday 27th August 2026.
Coincidence? Great gran's first boyfriend when she was 15 was Brian from Perivale. 10 years ago when great gran and grandad were re-taking their vows at their 50th wedding anniversary Brian, by chance, who happened to be a warden at St Andrew's Cobham popped in to say hello.
Yesterday, sadly, great gran discovered that Brian passed away in 2024. His funeral was at St Andrew's Church on 9th February, great gran's birthday.
Lucky Bob?
Saturday 29th August 2026.
Old Bob has often banged on about his Cosy Corner; well, it's now developing into an even more Cosy Corner. Under the dappled shade of the Bramley also protected by a bg multi trunk Leylandi is Reg's bench (made by Bob) along with some of his rusty old gardening tools, a Wendy House a compost heap and a bread bin.
The bread bin came from Bob's grandmother's kitchen at The Brambles also it was used at No. 27 bf (before fridges). So, Bob has decided that it would be a great place to RIP when he is brown bread! Plenty of room for two!
Sunday 30th August 2026.
That might sound a touch morbid but when your arteries are aching, your brain is bleeding, your cranium is crap, your dreams are as dead as a dodo, your energy has evaporated, your faculties are something or other, your get up and go got up and went, your hernia is horrendous, your ideas are ignored and your jokes are a joke, might as well zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Monday 31st August 2026.
I expect you've heard of infinite scrolling but not on Bob's Blog. Tomorrow might be another riveting page.
And just for the record the cost of a live in carer on a Bank Holiday is double time, that's £370 for one day. Speechless in Seattle.
Bob's Blog Page 70
You are reading Page 70 of Bob's Blog/diary/dream/story/journey/novelistic memoir.
He is 87 years old and counting.
He is also very much aware that this blog is of no significance whatsoever -
at the time of writing!
TIDAL STREAM ENERGY